There I was, looking at myself in the works bathroom mirror (it wasnt our usual 5 star bathrooms...), washing my hands. I chose to wear my fitted black linen dress that I bought from M&S in the sale about 6-9 months ag. This black dress was in the skinny bag under my bed, along with its beige sister. I took them out a few weeks ago, wore one to a friends birthday, and it felt OK as long as I stood up all night. Bit of a bugger as it was a sit down buffet but I maaged some standing up and walking and remained sober so I wouldnt flash anything unncessary.
And there it was - I saw ME. I know that sounds really strange to say out loud (or in writing if youre going to be specific about this). Yes, I saw Me. I saw my bone structure on my face - cheekbones, jawline, neckbones, a shapely neck; I saw bright blue eyes not grey sad eyes. I saw ME in the black dress, with my red cardigan (my work colleagues prefer to think they are in Scotland in winter and deny the lovely weather we actually live in - my noce goes cold on a daily basis takes about 30mins!). And what I saw, I thought was OK, in fact I liked what I saw. Dont let me kid you, Im no Heidi Klum and never will be, but this was THE frst time I looked in the mirror and didnt notice something I hated or digusted me. I smiled back at myself thanking out loud that there was noone else in their with me ....
I walked back to my desk with a bit of a skip, also noticing that my right ankle and foot was better and improving - I still need to consciouly remembed to walk straight and not outwards - not yet in heels and may not get back in them for along time yet. Thankfully (more thankings) Im tall and I can get away with wearing fglat shoes. I always thought I looked borderline drag queen wearing heels anyway, especially those kitten heels that I forever avoided and will continue to do so - even if I reach my goal weight!
Tonight I met LL - noone else wanted to join us. We had a quick dinner in Wagamama where I did as I was told and didnt eat all the whote rice with my beef red curry. It wasnt my thai green chicken curry but I know I can have that for 10 days next May - and if I really wanted to cook Ive got all the ingrediants in my cupboard. OMG! Ive just realied I CAN make this now I have a hug electric wok (Thanks again MsM). Uff just realised also, Im off on a detox on Friday and I need to continue the detox when Im back in the sandpit. Oh well Ive waited this long for a green curry, November is not that far away. Do you think I could bathe in it??
We then cried with laughter at the Laughter Factory. My childhood hero Sean Hughes was there. He was funny, weird to see someone youve admired for so long in the flesh. And he was still funny. I think I burned several 100 calories just laughing. We have decided to make it a monthly event. We both drank water, so just goes to show you dont need alochol to have a great time - again!
So now Im finishing my packing. I cant sleep for excitment. Im like a 5yr old child on Christmas Eve, or that feeling again I used to have as a child waiting for Hogmany to kick off and New Year to begin. Butterflies. Thats what I need as a tatoo as well!! 2 angle wings, 1 more cat paw and a butterlfy. Im oing to be busy on my 40th holiday : ).
So its night night from me, and I say night night to me, in the mirror looking at the reflection. Me, thats me, and I can see huge progress. I end this week before my mini biggest loser knowing that I have lost 2kgs of fat in the last 3 weeks and replaced that with 2kgs of muslce. I getting comments and compliments and I can now agree and say yes, thank you. I like me. Now to try the naked mirror version..... ha ha!
And there it was - I saw ME. I know that sounds really strange to say out loud (or in writing if youre going to be specific about this). Yes, I saw Me. I saw my bone structure on my face - cheekbones, jawline, neckbones, a shapely neck; I saw bright blue eyes not grey sad eyes. I saw ME in the black dress, with my red cardigan (my work colleagues prefer to think they are in Scotland in winter and deny the lovely weather we actually live in - my noce goes cold on a daily basis takes about 30mins!). And what I saw, I thought was OK, in fact I liked what I saw. Dont let me kid you, Im no Heidi Klum and never will be, but this was THE frst time I looked in the mirror and didnt notice something I hated or digusted me. I smiled back at myself thanking out loud that there was noone else in their with me ....
I walked back to my desk with a bit of a skip, also noticing that my right ankle and foot was better and improving - I still need to consciouly remembed to walk straight and not outwards - not yet in heels and may not get back in them for along time yet. Thankfully (more thankings) Im tall and I can get away with wearing fglat shoes. I always thought I looked borderline drag queen wearing heels anyway, especially those kitten heels that I forever avoided and will continue to do so - even if I reach my goal weight!
Tonight I met LL - noone else wanted to join us. We had a quick dinner in Wagamama where I did as I was told and didnt eat all the whote rice with my beef red curry. It wasnt my thai green chicken curry but I know I can have that for 10 days next May - and if I really wanted to cook Ive got all the ingrediants in my cupboard. OMG! Ive just realied I CAN make this now I have a hug electric wok (Thanks again MsM). Uff just realised also, Im off on a detox on Friday and I need to continue the detox when Im back in the sandpit. Oh well Ive waited this long for a green curry, November is not that far away. Do you think I could bathe in it??
We then cried with laughter at the Laughter Factory. My childhood hero Sean Hughes was there. He was funny, weird to see someone youve admired for so long in the flesh. And he was still funny. I think I burned several 100 calories just laughing. We have decided to make it a monthly event. We both drank water, so just goes to show you dont need alochol to have a great time - again!
So now Im finishing my packing. I cant sleep for excitment. Im like a 5yr old child on Christmas Eve, or that feeling again I used to have as a child waiting for Hogmany to kick off and New Year to begin. Butterflies. Thats what I need as a tatoo as well!! 2 angle wings, 1 more cat paw and a butterlfy. Im oing to be busy on my 40th holiday : ).
So its night night from me, and I say night night to me, in the mirror looking at the reflection. Me, thats me, and I can see huge progress. I end this week before my mini biggest loser knowing that I have lost 2kgs of fat in the last 3 weeks and replaced that with 2kgs of muslce. I getting comments and compliments and I can now agree and say yes, thank you. I like me. Now to try the naked mirror version..... ha ha!
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