Im back! Hope you missed me ha ha!
I did not realise I hadnt been on here for THAT long .... I guess after the IT issues, the email hacking and focusing on me, I let the blog slip. Its always been in the back of mind somewhere, sometimes the front, on weekend on the side, depending on how massive the brunch!
I thought it only apt as I start a new chapter, to catch up with some goings on and a progress update and for me, a rather large reality check. So back to the public confessionals.
So, the next and new chapter. Im in a good place. I feel great, not all the time every day, I have my moments, but its all good, 80% of the time anyway. I had a moment of revelation and realisation last week, you know the kind of signal where there is a strong signal to go for something and you know instantly its right and right now. I was getting lost in some old and unhealthy habits, feeling myself spiral downwards, every day seemed to get worse and things just kept happening and I couldnt shake off that feeling of "FFS this is shit"! I tried positive thinking, that annoyed me. I tried deep breathing, I felt claustrophobic, I tried counting to ten, I got to 5 and exploded. Not once, not twice, in fact I lost count. Without going into the details, last week was a shite week.
Then, I received an email from Lifeworks, where I used to see my psychologist, that I ceremoniously dumped sometime last September because I was fed up of crying with her every-time I spoke in her company! It wasnt the right time to see her, I learnt enough form her to make enough positive steps and changes at that time, I always knew I would go back to her when the moment was right again. THIS email was to learn meditation, 2hrs every Wednesday for 4 weeks, 7p to 9pm. In an instant I was in. AED800, I was worried, money is very tight at the moment and will continue to be very tight for the next few months until I get the job of my dreams (yes there is a vision board, it WILL be mine, will update you that by end of May I promise).
After my initial 100% commitment, I wavered on a daily basis, not quite sending the email to cancel my attendance. I woke up this morning and made the best decision so far this year. Just friggin do it! Once that was decided, I was in for 200% commitment and Ive just returned from that first amazing class. Its my date night with myself, and I was bloody good company though there wasnt a lot of chatting - external anyway. Thankfully the internal chatting was quite calm and quieter than normal too. Afterwards I bought myself some colourful flowers from Flowers at the Towers, my fave flower shop. I even got myself some chili chicken and broccoli in oyster sauce from one of my fave restaurants, Noodle House - the original one. NO white rice, no carbs, thats my reward tonight. I liked my first date with myself and shes kind of cool and fun and calmer than I thought. Far more balanced on that girl she was nearly 15 months ago now. What a journey ...... Im very proud of her :).
Enough talking in the 3rd party, it actually sounds quite creepy and a bit nutty ha ha!
And back to that journey - even since October and November so much has happened, I going to bullet point a few personal highlights, my top 10. Over the coming, days and weeks as I achieve my ultimate target weight of 75kgs, I will add in some more fond memories, realisations and highlights - and some low lights as they do exist, like we all have bad times, thats what makes us appreciated the highs and the good days even more :
I did not realise I hadnt been on here for THAT long .... I guess after the IT issues, the email hacking and focusing on me, I let the blog slip. Its always been in the back of mind somewhere, sometimes the front, on weekend on the side, depending on how massive the brunch!
I thought it only apt as I start a new chapter, to catch up with some goings on and a progress update and for me, a rather large reality check. So back to the public confessionals.
So, the next and new chapter. Im in a good place. I feel great, not all the time every day, I have my moments, but its all good, 80% of the time anyway. I had a moment of revelation and realisation last week, you know the kind of signal where there is a strong signal to go for something and you know instantly its right and right now. I was getting lost in some old and unhealthy habits, feeling myself spiral downwards, every day seemed to get worse and things just kept happening and I couldnt shake off that feeling of "FFS this is shit"! I tried positive thinking, that annoyed me. I tried deep breathing, I felt claustrophobic, I tried counting to ten, I got to 5 and exploded. Not once, not twice, in fact I lost count. Without going into the details, last week was a shite week.
Then, I received an email from Lifeworks, where I used to see my psychologist, that I ceremoniously dumped sometime last September because I was fed up of crying with her every-time I spoke in her company! It wasnt the right time to see her, I learnt enough form her to make enough positive steps and changes at that time, I always knew I would go back to her when the moment was right again. THIS email was to learn meditation, 2hrs every Wednesday for 4 weeks, 7p to 9pm. In an instant I was in. AED800, I was worried, money is very tight at the moment and will continue to be very tight for the next few months until I get the job of my dreams (yes there is a vision board, it WILL be mine, will update you that by end of May I promise).
After my initial 100% commitment, I wavered on a daily basis, not quite sending the email to cancel my attendance. I woke up this morning and made the best decision so far this year. Just friggin do it! Once that was decided, I was in for 200% commitment and Ive just returned from that first amazing class. Its my date night with myself, and I was bloody good company though there wasnt a lot of chatting - external anyway. Thankfully the internal chatting was quite calm and quieter than normal too. Afterwards I bought myself some colourful flowers from Flowers at the Towers, my fave flower shop. I even got myself some chili chicken and broccoli in oyster sauce from one of my fave restaurants, Noodle House - the original one. NO white rice, no carbs, thats my reward tonight. I liked my first date with myself and shes kind of cool and fun and calmer than I thought. Far more balanced on that girl she was nearly 15 months ago now. What a journey ...... Im very proud of her :).
Enough talking in the 3rd party, it actually sounds quite creepy and a bit nutty ha ha!
And back to that journey - even since October and November so much has happened, I going to bullet point a few personal highlights, my top 10. Over the coming, days and weeks as I achieve my ultimate target weight of 75kgs, I will add in some more fond memories, realisations and highlights - and some low lights as they do exist, like we all have bad times, thats what makes us appreciated the highs and the good days even more :
- After my week in Gocek with Kate, Amy, Max, Sally and the team and after meeting my hero Jason Vale at the www.juicemaster.com retreat, I lost 4.8kgs. AND that was after eating 3 squares of baclava and a strong turkish cappuccino with my juicey soul sister from the weeks retreat - you know who you are gorgeous mad Liverpudlian Italiano beauty! That was me safely under 100kgs and I moved away from being stuck at that number. Duble figures her we come
- I have continued to lose more weight, tone up and change shape, and get smaller and yet smaller clothes; Im pleased to report as of last Saturday I was 85.7kgs. Ive given myself the week off as after last week I was beginning to lose the plot a bit, I was about to give up and resign to this new (lowest ever that I can recall) weight and be happy with it. I was bored of thinking about being good and disciplined and in control so much, I was thinking constantly about being bad, being undisciplined and out of control...that scared me and it has probably taken me til this evening to realise that I can choose anything at any time, and I choose to be happy on my journey and pick it right back up. PS Im NEVER EVER getting back to 90kgs again ...another number I got stuck at for some time
- I am now wearing a size 16, not bad for girl who was choosing size 24 clothes JUST because they fitted, instead of choosing to wear something because I liked it. I actually wore a size 14 Jane Normal dress to my 2 beautiful friends wedding in Glasgow in January, and I cant wait to wear that dress again at the Irish St Patricks Day Ball on 16th March. Im thinking my future blue-eyed irish yacht-owing husband might quite like in purple ;). My Uncle D WILL be pleased .....
- Im LOVING the gym, in particular LOVING boxing with my personal trainer at the gym. I may have slacked off this as I havent done my usual Sunday and Tuesday evening but as off this weekend Im back on track and 500% committed to attending my regular 4 times a week. A lot of the credit of my success goes to my fabulous PT, I burn his ear off most sessions, Im never happy with the weight loss but he is more than happy with my progress, he inspires me to 'keep rocking up" and I am. Once Ive rocked up, he makes sure I do what Im supposed, even on days when I dont think Ive done enough he says Ive done well. I sweat like a trouper now, Im wearing more fitted sports outfits, I just need to get rid of the old baggy-far-too-big jogging bottoms. Im going to shop in the normal section of sports shops this weekend, now I feel I actually fit in a little more by shopping there in the first place, it feels good to walk in with my head held high and not shuffling with my ankles. PS My ankles are no longer swollen; genetically Im sure they are still a tad cankle-like however, there is bone, there is shape and I like them. Another first
- Im considering a return to the OFC bootcamps - now thats something I didnt think I would say until a few more months. I was signed off by my physio a few weeks ago, he made more progress with me over 5 sessions than I did with my previous physio over 25 sessions. The man is one of my angels though I think if I told him that he would blush. Alright Mr T!! Ha ha. I will still keep to my promise, I will come and tell you after Ive run my first 5km .... LL we need to get on that jogging training soon. Back to OFC - so there is now a Wednesday evening session that a few if not most of my girlies are attending (they are doing Mon and Weds). I was going to attend, then the combination of the Meditation classes and the fact Im not risking damaging my ankle and not reaching my goal, I opted to start the Yogi-Fitness session in Mirdif from next Monday and every Monday. Its on my doorstep, its in the evening, its outside, its with my weekend gym buddy. Lets get stretching MrsM-Kitty-Lady :). From April, I can see me attending the Wednesday sessions in Safa Parkl - Corey, I will be in touch, I promise. Hope to see you next Monday in Mirdif
- I have boundless energy - on good days of course. I feel sluggish when I eat carbs - the od sandwich DOES still pass my lips and then theres the healthier NKD Pizzas ..... sigh! LL was amused recently when I was planning and scheduling lots of skydives, balls, Tastes of Dubai, Ladies Nights etc, all for the same day. Yes are absolutely correct, there was no way a year ago I would have got overly excited about cramming in (1) 8am gym, (2) 12noon skydive, (3) 3pm - 5pm Taste of Dubai then (4) Irish Ball in the same day. You should be very proud lady, youve changed my life for the better and you know I will never thank you enough for you positive influence and motivation. And I will never say again that you ever nagged me ..... ha ha
- I cant stop moving! Even if Im sat down my leg is moving or Im rocking (not like a looney thank you very much ....). When I go out, especially to balls I feel like Im dancing all night. Then I realise I have danced all night. I love the music, I love singing along, I love being the usual tit that I am and being silly with the girls. Jesus, Ive even got the confidence to dance with some men and feel confident that Im just as good as the other girls in the room and I dont have to be a funny twat to get a mans attention - though it sometimes helps ..... as one of the girlies said about last weekends balls - "its good to have fun with the girls and remind men that are just playthings ....". What a fabulous night that was ....
- I like what I see in the mirror. Take today, Ive run out of work clothes - especially for the bottom half. Everything is bigger and I cant be bothered shopping any more or as often, items of clothing are lasting less than 2 months now, its amusing though and I do smile about it often. However the bank balance is not exactly healthy at the moment to afford a new wardrobe every 2 months. So today, I wore an outfit that I instantly knew I looked good and I felt confident. I had many comments about how noticeable my weight loss is getting and how I looked great. And my answer to these comments? Thanks, I know, I feel great. New words for new moments for the new me. I like it I like it (that ones for Max!)
- Weird things are occurring with my body as it changes - nothing too weird so it IS safe to read on. The worst thing is Ive gone a bra cup size - may need a Thailand trip for some assistance later in the year. A couple of months ago I kept think I had something stuck to the back and top of my legs, and it took me a few days to realise that my bum, thigh and leg had separated - nothing Alien-like, just the fact a line had appeared that demonstrated where my bum cheeks ended and where my legs started. You may all have one or some of those lines, these were new additions to my skin. Even now months later when I feel that line I do giggle to myself, I even check out my ass in the mirror in my new size 16 brazilian knickers in polka dot pink and white. Thankfully I can now twist and see it without the rolls of fat on my sides .... which nicely leads to my next bullet ...
- ... point! NORDIC WALKING. Ive bored you enough already about this but eventually I was able to confess I had them as I got LL a pair for her Christmas. We both have the top of the range Leki travelers poles that fold so we can take them with us on our many and varied holidays. Mine have so far reached Glasgow (nearly left them there too OMG!) and Sydney, though our 100hrs at NY there didnt permit any nordic walking (PS But I did achieve my goal of wearing a six 16 dress for the occasion). This walking has contributed to a lot of the fat loss and tones shape of my sides (along with my PT gym sessions), and I do love going out for a long walk with them around Mirdif. Im planning a nordic walk around Safa Park soon, to time myself per lap and to start getting some sunshine on my skin - I kind of look Glaswegian-grey at the moment especially my legs!! Its not a good look for my purple outfit for next week..
Most importantly is I seem to be inspiring other people - whether its coincidence or not - my dad and stepma have changed their lives and have lost weight and got healthier and fitter on the iphone WW application. Its great to know they have made such positive changes in their lives and that they keep inspiring me back always. For my mums Christmas pressie Im taking her for a weeks retreat holiday in Turkey and Im just waiting to get the dates confirmed for September or even October - the gift of life to mum and I know for sure her diabetes type 2 and IBS WILL improve after one weeks juicing and walking and relaxing in teh beautiful mountains of Gocek. Next year we will be in Portugal at Jason Vales new resort, and Im sure we will make this an annual holiday for some mother-daughter bonding. I guess Ive kind of grown up over the last 15 months.
Lastly, I want to give a big shout out to my girlies who have started the OFC Boot Camp in Safa Park this week, you know you are all beautiful, you are all amazing ladies, you are strong and determined, you can do this, dont let the DOMs get you down. In the words of our gorgeous MsAJ ......
"Never doubt you can do it - you are in charge"
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