Popular Posts

27 March - Alive and Present

Just back from another gym session with Zaid and saw LL - she gets more excited about my weight loss and changing body shape than I do, love you LL for that :). Tonight I wore a tshirt I havent worn before, I felt it was a bit small, LL says its OK, I trust her feedback. I flashed her toe loose flabby flesh on my bellies and she said it wasnt too bad, I said it would take a lot of courage to wear a bikini on Saturday - I still trust you LL< but let me see how I feel on Saturday morning!

Ive had a weird week really. Many thoughts, far too many to be honest, a million ideas floating around my head, some forgotten some already sorted. Sorted is my deposit payment for the Juice Therapy course in June. Life changing for me personally, my close friends and family will benefit, then I need to complete a few more courses and exams and I could then use the knowledge I have learned to help others.

Although Im already helping others, Ive been told many times how I have inspired people - friends and friends of friends, its nice to know that this blog has helped you all, one of the nice consequences of my regular online detoxing. Soon I will start charging ha ha! One of my friends started juicing on Sunday and this morning she had already lost 2.7kgs. Another friend started juicing today (AND she has the new Philips Avanche juicer like me, go girl!!). Im rooting for all my girls who are STILL doing the OFC Wonderwoman 2 times a week, Im glad we are all inspiring each other and youre doing amazing! MrsEC, Ive got my eye on you, and Im stalking you every step (as is LL during office hours!). Keep going, keep up the exercise, stay focused, just do your best and keep your sights on that end goal. MsA who is on week 2 has done AMAZING, and Ive loved the updates and mutual motivations - thank you for giving me credit for your inspiration, I did not realise I was that influential to someone as strong and determined as you).

My end goal is in sight (in fact in A4 size red numbers - 75 on my door and on my phone for some subconscious focus), its weird to think that Ive lost over 25kgs since January 2011 and I think I need to lift that weight in the gym at some point to feel what I used to carry. I have no understanding of what that is. Zaid, another task for you for the weekend? I DID have a very bizarre thought this week, that now my 75kgs is so close, it feels easy. This week feels easy, keeping up the exercise is easy (Thursday is my only day off this week and Im watching Hungry for Change at a friends together instead of going drinking ....... Ive got a weighin every Friday now for 6 weeks!!). At the same time, Im throwing away clothes to the charity bin on a daily basis, so much so, that Ive got the smallest wardrobe and working wardrobe EVER! Additionally, today I wore a very larg black short to work, I wore a belt over it. ME! A BELT? Jeeezuzzz. Even more amusing, I didnt wear one of my "safety" vest tops underneath, I decided I didnt need it today. The skirt I was wearing Ive only worn 3 times over 3 weeks, and as of next week, I know in my heart its heading to the charity bin. I love that Monsoon skirt. As Im typing this, I also know the other Monsoon skirt I got at the same time will also be too big, that was a more generous fit ... sigh!

Ive still got a bag of 10 selected dresses and 3 jackets to be taken in by the tailors, just trying to find the time to go to get fitted for them in between my busy schedule. It still amazes where I suddenly found all this spare time to do so much.

Last night I went to the OFC Yogi Fit, took a lovely young friend from work to get her motivated and on her way while she is still 23yrs old! That was my 3rd session and really enjoyed it despite still some significant issues with the right leg, especially where the injection hit ... Anyway, after the session, and a trip to Spinneys for the bulky shopping, and 5 trips back and forth from the car bringing it in, then unpacking and doing some washing, I was literally bouncing off the walls. I thought that at 10pm I would feel a bit tired, hell no, last night I was feeling more alive than I have ever been. There was only one thing for it (only cos I couldnt do a tandem SkyDive .... I did crave it last night, I will be honest - can you imagine, a night skydive ......... sigh sigh!) .... Nordic walk!

Off I went, Yanni playing gently on my ickle ipod shuffle (one ear for safety, it was dark!), poles in hand, and odd I stomped. And it was more of a stomp, I had a plan to gradually stomp this alien takeover of energy that was in my system, I did get some looks - yes you can feel them in the dark from inside the cars that drove past and some even slowed down. I kept my head down and my mouth shut, ooh something new there then! LL had suggested to think if nice calm things as I walked, so I tried and my thoughts moved to the usual over analysis that fills my brain 24/6.5 - not 24/7 (minus half a day for the recent Friday brunches that have filled my head void of much thoughts apart from mmmm thats a lovely cocktail yuck thats a nasty cherry, ooops I think I need to go home now .....). I actually came to a conclusion quite quickly, another first! I just felt alive, I felt good, I felt easily positive, I felt content for today... in fact,  was present! Here, now, alive, doing it, living it. Present. Meditation has been teaching me how to be present when meditating, something I have neglected the last week since class NO 3, as Ive hid my lovely meditation chair in the wardrobe so the kitties dont destroy it or cover it in fur - hidden therefore I dont see therefore I dont do.

So in advance of my final mediation class No 4 with the lovely Helen Williams from Lifeworks, Im off to meditate and practice ahead of tomorrow. It doesnt matter how long I do this as its bedtime and Im not sleeping these days til after 1am at the earliest. Any meditation is a bonus, sleep will come easy after this.

On a final note, I used my new connection to my present self and developing spirituality (I never said that before, how many firsts can I achieve this week .....), something that I am comfortable with and contributes to how I feel at the moment, to find my "lost" earphones last night. After looking around the apartment in the only places they cold be, I sat on my bed, said to my 3rd eye, come on then leets see if you can bloody work and find my earphones, 2 deep breaths and I stood up and walked to my middle wardrobe where I had looked twice in the preceding 5 minutes .. and my eyes were drawn directly without hesitation to the earphones. Thank you 3rd eye, thank you me for being present.

I will finish this waffle, fuss and nonsense for this evening, quickly before I start sounding like an old hippy fart like my dad - Hiya Pops :) - and bow to you all (especially my get fit and juicing it girls) that you are all present in yourselves, for today, not for the past, not dreaming and living in the future - Just here and now present.

Namaste *

The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."

24 March - The Perfect 10

10kgs to go til I reach my ultimate target.

Originally I was to be 80kgs by my 40th birthday and 7kgs5 by August for LLs birthday .. but at some point, I re-evaluated my goals and realised it was possible to reach 75kgs by my birthday.

6 weeks to go - Im at 85kgs exactly on Zaids scales, % fat is reducing and muscle is increasing, all good news.

For next Friday I need to be min 83kgs and continue with a 2kg loss for the remainder of the 6 weeks .... I will get there, but if anyone has any magical tips, advice, encouragement or motivation please let me know, these 6 weeks are going to be the hardest yet but also the most motivational.

Going back to when I was at the Juicemaster Retreat last October, introducing myself, I talked about never having goals in life before and probably not achieving very much. This is the most important goal and achievement of my life, I just cant focus on the fact that I wish I had done this years ago, I have to focus on what Kate told us - you spend the 1st and last 5 years of your life dribbling so youve got 80 years to enjoy your life - Ive worked out I have the latter half of my 80 years to rock this planet in style. And thats exactly what I plan to do.

Im now focussing and planning on the following :

  1. Continuing my personal training with Zaid even after I reach my goal
  2. Continuing 1 x week yogi fit and 1 x week wonder woman bootcamp (not that Ive sampled that one yet!)
  3. Make and drink juices - my new habit, my new life, the new me - the new career?
  4. Being happy and enjoying life
  5. Remembering the past to help me stay focused, but leaving it in the pat
  6. See my psychologist again, I need all the help I can get to stay on track
  7. Meditate daily 
  8. Learn to sleep min 8 hours per night (at least more than 5 -6 hours!)
I have a lot to look forward to - not limited to :
  • Nieces 4th birthday - quick long weekend back home with family
  • Holiday in Thailand for my birthday with my good friends
  • Getting some tattoos :)
  • Moving to a new apartment closer to the beach and my new outdoor life (paddle boarding, kayaking, nordic walking, running ...... oooh the list is endless)
  • Training as a Juice Therapist with Juicemaster.com in June - I would be the 1st in the Middle East and I plan to use this for a new career
So, til next time when I will update more gossip and some actual goings on and possibly some amusing experiences, Im off to buy my s14 jeans from gap, I think its time they hung ready and waiting in my wardrobe for my holiday in April to the UK :).

Have a great week and stay with me over the next 6 weeks, I need your support and encouragement and just knowing Im not struggling alone will help me so much xxxx

PS Gym Buddies

I had to share this with you ... Ive been receiving more and more emails and requests for help from friends, friends of friends and anonymous strangers, all very exciting. Occasionally I receive some true gems, and sometimes very amusing .....


I have a good friend, who lives overseas (from Dubai that is ...) who emailed me over the weekend - he had been reading my blog and identified with some of my embarrassing moves in the gym. He is very funny, motivated and has gone through a massive change to his lifestyle and health and fitness and is looking seriously buff these days! I hope you dont mind that I anonymously share some of your words, as you lightened up my day when I read this and I know many more people will identify with your gym experiences :


"Had to chuckle at your blog as I'm sure I look a right twat doing some of the things my trainer makes me do. I was doing 'the bazooka' yesterday with a large rubber drainpipe thing lunging and hoisting this thing onto my shoulder, firing skuds into the neighbouring office building... Then, oh so versatile, shimmy side step, side step (ok I shimmy in my head) and swoosh it's now a jolly hockey stick!! I wouldn't mind so much if this area is tucked away in the corner of the gym but oh no, right there in the middle on the walk to the changing rooms.. With the slap, slap, bam! Of the boxing I might as well set up a popcorn stand nearby for free entertainment... I just keep thinking that he knows what he's doing."


Thanks Mr-You-Know-Who-You-Are, youre such an inspiration and eternal thanks for all your encouragement, advice and funny emails sharing your experiences. Looking back to 9 years ago when we first me, me fresh of the boat from the Maldives and you a true Dubai expat, look how things have changed -who would ever imagine we had health and fitness in common?! Loving it xx

19 March - Time after Time

Before I commenced this health and fitness regime, I ever had any time for much, time was precious and rare and always by passed me or slipped through my fingers.

Looking back to my first few bootcamp sessions with OFC last January 2011, THE hardest part was making the time. I was lucky, I had LL committed to attending the 3 sessions a week with me, to jump start my new habit. Everything in my life had to go on hold until I lost this weight and achieve my goals, and change my habits for life. I sacrificed and gave things up (erm ... take aways and lazy nights on the sofa doing nothing top the list) but I still struggled and didnt really like what I was doing.

Fast forward to March 2012 - Im happy to report things have changed dramatically, some habits will take longer to change, however, the exercise is now a habit and a routine. When I miss a session with Zaid, I feel a little disorientated and my thoughts drift off to what I feel I SHOULD have been doing instead (except last Saturday when I was suffering major Irish Ball hangover, I forgot all about Zaid and gym and fitness ...) and now I like the fact that the rest of my life fits around my exercise plan. Ive upped the exercise schedule for the rest of March and April and my schedule currently looks like this (April changes are in brackets!) :

Sun eve - 1hr PT with Zaid, usually cardio!
Mon eve - 1hr Yogi Fit with Gillian from OFC at Mirdif Park
Tues eve - 1hr PT with Zaid
Weds eve - Meditation Class (OFC Wonder Woman at Safa Park with the girls)
Thurs eve - OFC Wonder Woman at Mirdif Park
Fri morning - 1hr PT with Zaid usually boxing
Sat morning - 1hr PTw with Zaid

I felt I had to write that down for myself. I usually do 4hrs with Zaid but adding up the above thats going to be 7hrs of exercise each week, 1hr every day, and thats not even including the nordic walking, walking round the malls, carrying bags from the car ... ha ha!

The difference now is I have the time, suddenly Ive got several hours a week free to fit in all this exercise, and I do kind of enjoy it - hey, its not easy, or pain free and it can be uncomfortable and frustrating and very tiring at times, but Im now doing it! Im doing more than just rocking up now. Where did all this time come from? Where has it been hiding? What did I do before ....? You know, I really cant remember, its all very hazy - perhaps its hazy due to all the nasty processed foods and sugars, carb overdoses .... and Ive just also realised I havent had many food blackouts recently, in fact I have stopped thinking about them. They are still there, but just very rare.

The only sugars Im getting this week is from natures own, and the only processing going is in in my new juicer. Love my new tool of the trade and Im very much looking forward to becoming a professional and qualified Juice Therapist. Roll on June 2012 - Universe, please keep 1 space available for me until tomorrow :) until my deposit is paid.

Im on a mission, a juicing mission, a 5kg loss s week thimission (ambitious - perhaps, achievable - absolutely), a fitness mission, Ive got a red and white polka dot bikini to wear in 7 weeks - and yes the s14 is washed and ready for the Bangkok trip. Just not sure about the loose skin (as seen on the SkyDive No 4 video and pics), thats a whole new fitness regime!

The habit Im still to work on is to ensure some of my spare awake time is shared with my sleeping time .... all this spare time, leading to more exercise is resulting in less need to sleep and feeling less tired. Im not complaining, really, I just know that my body needs more sleep and rest to repair my poor muscles on a daily basis. Ah, thats why Im doing meditation - class No 3 on Wednesday.

Its all coming together, hello 40th birthday....suddenly youre looking quite pretty, and time and age is on my side now!

If you're lost you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you

I'll be waiting
Time after time


Gene Genie

Scientists-discover-greedy-gene-makes-eat-full



Seriously!?!


However, Im loving this comment at the bottom :


"Okay, let's say it IS a mutant gene. Something then has mutated it and what is it? Could it be fat and sugar, soda and a sedentary lifestyle? That is the only way I will give credit to a gene for contributing to all this obesity because without the fuel, it wouldn't mutate. Scientists need to prove that obese people had that faulty gene before they got obese but no, they wouldn't be able to do that. Our ancestors didn't pass down these genes, it's not hereditary, they weren't fat, it's today's lifestyles and unhealthy diets. Scientists want to prove it's a gene so that they can justify a drug, when all people have to do is stop eating what we know to be addictive rubbish."


How I wish I had read these articles many years ago. I was today talking to a 23 year old wok colleague, and Ive been talking about health and juicing and nutrition with her for a while, as she wants to lose weight. My words to her were more or less - if you can learn what Ive learnt in the last 15mths at your age, you are 17 years ahead of me, and just think of the fabulous longer life you will have ahead of you!


However, its not too late and life CAN and DOES begin at 40 ... or 23, or just whenever you ready, you choose to and you go for it!

14 March - Ive got one word for you!

Muffin Tops!

So I didnt buy my new juicer after my 2nd meditation class this evening (going great and Ive returned home with my new meditation chair - damn its still in the car and Im now in my Pjs!), instead I went shopping for some new jeans. I decided to wear my new skinnier s18s from M&S, however opted for no belt as I knew I would be sitting and bending over - a belt would only complicate matters. But after feeling like I had reverted t looking like a s24, I had to do something fast. Tomorrow was jeans dat at work and the day after I want ed to look and feel good for my sky dive ... call me vain, Im not listening!

I was heading for Debenhams, one of my safe shopping locations, when I walked towards Gap. Someone somewhere told me they or someone they knew went to Gap and had jeans fit them like a glove (or a pair of jeans?) - was it MsAJ? Then there I was, staring at a walk of folded jeans trying to make sense of them all. A young girl who worked there walked up and I felt like I had never been shopping before in my life. Part of that was true, Id never shopped for jean to look good on me before, I had only shopped for jeans that fitted me, style and looking good was an optional extra, a preference but not essential. I suddenyl felt nervous and self conscious. I was optimistically looking for a s16 regular and all I could find was s16 long - they arent going to work with the flats, but I decided to try them on anyway for size. The were the skinny ones, as I refused to try on the wide legged, flared, bootleg or anything that resembled any old pair of jeans Ive ever owned. I felt brave, still optimistic.

Great, the dressing rooms were empty - well it was 930pm on a Wednesday evening! Shops closed in 30mins. Off I kicked the now very baggy skinny s18s ..... I slipped on the skinny Gap s16s, and even though the felt a little tight, they fitted. Quietly elated I walked outside to look at the long mirror far away. The Gap girl, told me they were too big. Ha ha shes got to be kidding me. She tried to get me to try on a s14, oh how I laughed. In fact I replied, "so we can have a laugh" and she was worried she had upset me. She handed me a pair of s16s regular in the straight fit style I had originally looked for - yay. Back into the fitting room I skipped - ok the skipping was just in my head but it was a few mins of fun Ive never had. I was chuffed to bits they fitted me regardless. On the jeans I wanted. O M G. Fits like a glove. Now where have I heard that before? Now I was happy, I showed the Gap Girl, she eventually persuaded me to try on the s14s - back she came as I was stroking my nice jeans legs and admiring my ass in the long mirror!!

THE s14s FITTED! Now, I didnt buy the 14s, though I was tempted. To wear the s14s wouldve meant a real compromise on my choice of tops (now they are now not so baggy there is nowhere to hide ...), and I could only wear the loose tops with the 14s if I cold ensure there was no wind moving the top (basically a breeze to gale force and everything in between). And then there was Kims Muffin Top! Its only because some of that spare belly flab require (a) tonig up BIG time or (b) some BKK surgery time .. but they did actually fit. And I mean they zipped up, I could breathe .. normally. It was just the loose flabby skin that stopped me!

LL and AJ would be proud - WILL be proud. After your guidance on what jeans to buy I did it, Ive achieved what you advised me to. Thank you Gap and the lovely Cheryl who works there who thinks Ive completely lost the plot - she told me the next size I would buy would be a s12 if I lost another 10kgs, oh how I laughed. But hey, anythings possible!

It is possible. Ive come from a s24 in January 2011 to an official normal Gap s16 in 14 months. Now I get it. Now I can see it. Now Im proud. Despite the pad thai for dinner ....... ooops, juices again tomorrow .. I guess Ive got some extra work to do next week to catch up the last 2 weeks. Thats going to hurt. A bit like the bum cheek glutes hurting that Ive got going on thanks to Zaids fabulous idea for me to lift those 10kg weights whilst doing squats yesterday. Ooouuuucccchhhhcaaaaa!

Ok, I need those squats to get rid of those muffin tops. Gap s14 here I come.

13 March - All you need is ...

.. a great personal trainer!!

According to Melanie Sykes, all you need to do is date one! : I love Melanie Sykes!

Its ok Zaid Gerber, I will leave the marriage proposals to the mad scottish one ..... Ive been waiting a long time to add this article, LL and I have already had a giggle about this back in October last year!

So people of Dubai, if you want a good personal trainer in this mad desert, you have to find one you feel safe and comfortable with that understands you and gets you - all it took was a few simple words from Zaid back in January last year - JUST KEEP ROCKING UP! But you cant have all of Zaid, he is very busy and youre not having my 4 slots I have with him each week. I might give up 1 or 2 when I reach my 75kgs goal, but until then, I think youre going to have to add your name to the waiting list......

Zaid has now set up his own business, one of his activities he has added to his multi-skilled belt is Personal Training - when he finds time in between winning medals at Jiu Jitsu Competitions - Congratulations Mr Champion! If anyone wants his email, let me know ..... but dont get him too busy, Ive still got about 10kgs to go ....

So yes Im still rocking up - sometimes I think he gets bored or frustrated with me (like when I have a week blow out on carbs like last week), or when we do pure cardio sessions (I would not be that disciplined to doing a full hour of cardio on the cross trainer, rowing machine and bike) .. but I burn his ear off 4 times a week anyway, and its a bit like a therapy session and a bit of a giggle at times plus I sweat tons, so its also a detox.

And I never thought Id love boxing, so much that Im looking for one of those sparring boxing balls ....

I struggle with new things - I think its the stubborn Taurus bull in me - like tonight, lifting 10kgs over the backs of my shoulders while I do squats - I think I just feel I look a right prat, but I did feel my "glutes" more and after the leg work tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. At least when I wake up its only 24hrs til Im back in the gym again, this time with my kitty-loving weekend gym mate!

So Zaid, this is dedicated to you - my success is your success, you have kept me going through those (many) tough days and weeks, when Ive lost motivation on those weigh-ins, when Ive force fed you my Juicemaster soups and juice, when Ive felt like jumping off that cross trainer at 20mins but youve got me to stay on for 30 or til I burn 300 calories .. youve taught me lots about TRX, circuits, pushing myself, weights, boxing (Yay) and how to get fit. Most of all youve managed to teach me lots about myself and that I can actually do this. I am DOING it right now. Youre a great PT, youre a superstar, and thanks but I promise there will be no marriage proposals  ... I will leave that to the madwoman you are seeing tomorrow at 6am - beware she is on day 4 of her 7lbs in 7 days, yesterday was detox low day, Wednesday morning shes going to be be bouncing off those walls more than usual .... Good luck ha ha!

In summary, all you need is Zaid Gerber! :)

12 March - What its REALLY like...

Juicemaster Retreat - Turkey 2011

If you wanted an insight into the Juicemaster Retreat, here is a very personal view of what happens. A beautiful group of people, a shared vision and goal, shared interests and just bloody good fun while losing weight, getting fitter and healthier. Wish I was there now, but I will have to wait til September or October.

Happy viewing and thank you beautiful lady who made this and emailed to everyone xx

9 March 2012 - Its cold out there

Fruit and veg make you cuter

Im loving this article, another bit of scientific proof that fruit and veg was good for us - as if we didnt know already!

And nice timing to get back on the juice and health and fitness journey again, after my week of forgetting about it all. I really needed to do that, to relax about the food I was eating. Sometimes I was good (breakfast was easier), sometimes I had my soups for lunch or dinner, I even had a salad, but the rest of the time ... IM not even going to go there, but there were carbs ....

Perhaps that will make next weeks weight loss goal easier to achieve - I have a reward at the end of the week - sky diving (no 4 whoop whoop) and then Taste of Dubai and then the St Patricks Day Ball. Ive got my seize 14 purple dress ready for the occasion, the shoes and handbag are sorted. I just need to choose an outfit for my sky dive, and Im thinking shorts ... yes really, I am!! Not sure Id like my legs flapping filmed for all to see, so may have to go find some decent shorts and not my boardies ha ha.

Las night I went to see my childhood crushes, Duran Duran - I stuck to water but I was soooo cold! My friends turned into 80s rock and pop chicks and wondered why I wasnt dancing like a looney like them - I prefer to watch the band, dancing for me is reserved for the DJ at the end of a ball, at the end of a drunken night around a friends apartment, around my apartment when cleaning and in a good place .... I wanted to watch my heroes. They were great. And I wore a size 8 leather jacket - ok, it was draped over my shoulders and all I could think if was that MrsM-KittyLady is technically half of me, or Im 2 of her!!!

Tonight its time for some Snow Patrol, and time to try and stay warm again - tonight is going to be cooler as we will be exposed to the sea air and temps on the Atlantis Nasimi Beach. I cant help thinking that since Ive got less blubber Im definitely feeling the cold more and I mean REALLY cold!! I will be layering ...

I missed out on practicing my meditation yesterday, but I made sure I had a try today - I had a lie in, gym training was cancelled, I WAS going to go, I truly was, then I fell asleep and woke up later 100% focused on cleaning and tidying and decluttering. So my meditation gave me some focus and energy to tick off the tasks on my list and DO SOMETHING productive today, instead of wasting the day. And as I am moving all day, and stepping over things and literally moving my body head to toes for 5hrs, this is the same as an hour in the gym .... well thats what Im telling myself :).

And once Im finished, I will practice meditating once more, give me energy to keep warm this evening ha ha!

Tomorrow, its back to juicing and Jason Vale .... to buy a new juicer or not, to buy a new juicer or not .... to buy a new juicer ............ !!

7 March 2012 - Back in the High Life Again

Im back! Hope you missed me ha ha!

I did not realise I hadnt been on here for THAT long .... I guess after the IT issues, the email hacking and focusing on me, I let the blog slip. Its always been in the back of mind somewhere, sometimes the front, on weekend on the side, depending on how massive the brunch!

I thought it only apt as I start a new chapter, to catch up with some goings on and a progress update and for me, a rather large reality check. So back to the public confessionals.

So, the next and new chapter. Im in a good place. I feel great, not all the time every day, I have my moments, but its all good, 80% of the time anyway. I had a moment of revelation and realisation last week, you know the kind of signal where there is a strong signal to go for something and you know instantly its right and right now. I was getting lost in some old and unhealthy habits, feeling myself spiral downwards, every day seemed to get worse and things just kept happening and I couldnt shake off that feeling of "FFS this is shit"! I tried positive thinking, that annoyed me. I tried deep breathing, I felt claustrophobic, I tried counting to ten, I got to 5 and exploded. Not once, not twice, in fact I lost count. Without going into the details, last week was a shite week.

Then, I received an email from Lifeworks, where I used to see my psychologist, that I ceremoniously dumped sometime last September because I was fed up of crying with her every-time I spoke in her company! It wasnt the right time to see her, I learnt enough form her to make enough positive steps and changes at that time, I always knew I would go back to her when the moment was right again. THIS email was to learn meditation, 2hrs every Wednesday for 4 weeks, 7p to 9pm. In an instant I was in. AED800, I was worried, money is very tight at the moment and will continue to be very tight for the next few months until I get the job of my dreams (yes there is a vision board, it WILL be mine, will update you that by end of  May I promise).

After my initial 100% commitment, I wavered on a daily basis, not quite sending the email to cancel my attendance. I woke up this morning and made the best decision so far this year. Just friggin do it! Once that was decided, I was in for 200% commitment and Ive just returned from that first amazing class. Its my date night with myself, and I was bloody good company though there wasnt a lot of chatting - external anyway. Thankfully the internal chatting was quite calm and quieter than normal too. Afterwards I bought myself some colourful flowers from Flowers at the Towers, my fave flower shop. I even got myself some chili chicken and broccoli in oyster sauce from one of my fave restaurants, Noodle House - the original one. NO white rice, no carbs, thats my reward tonight. I liked my first date with myself and shes kind of cool and fun and calmer than I thought. Far more balanced on that girl she was nearly 15 months ago now. What a journey ...... Im very proud of her :).

Enough talking in the 3rd party, it actually sounds quite creepy and a bit nutty ha ha!

And back to that journey - even since October and November so much has happened, I going to bullet point a few personal highlights, my top 10. Over the coming, days and weeks as I achieve my ultimate target weight of 75kgs, I will add in some more fond memories, realisations and highlights - and some low lights as they do exist, like we all have bad times, thats what makes us appreciated the highs and the good days even more :


  1. After my week in Gocek with Kate, Amy, Max, Sally and the team and after meeting my hero Jason Vale at the www.juicemaster.com retreat,  I lost 4.8kgs. AND that was after eating 3 squares of baclava and a strong turkish cappuccino with my juicey soul sister from the weeks retreat - you know who you are gorgeous mad Liverpudlian Italiano beauty! That was me safely under 100kgs and I moved away from being stuck at that number. Duble figures her we come
  2. I have continued to lose more weight, tone up and change shape, and get smaller and yet smaller clothes; Im pleased to report as of last Saturday I was 85.7kgs. Ive given myself the week off as after last week I was beginning to lose the plot a bit, I was about to give up and resign to this new (lowest ever that I can recall) weight and be happy with it. I was bored of thinking about being good and disciplined and in control so much, I was thinking constantly about being bad, being undisciplined and out of control...that scared me and it has probably taken me til this evening to realise that I can choose anything at any time, and I choose to be happy on my journey and pick it right back up. PS Im NEVER EVER getting back to 90kgs again ...another number I got stuck at for some time
  3. I am now wearing a size 16, not bad for girl who was choosing size 24 clothes JUST because they fitted, instead of choosing to wear something because I liked it. I actually wore a size 14 Jane Normal dress to my 2 beautiful friends wedding in Glasgow in January, and I cant wait to wear that dress again at the Irish St Patricks Day Ball on 16th March. Im thinking my future blue-eyed irish yacht-owing husband might quite like in purple ;). My Uncle D WILL be pleased .....
  4. Im LOVING the gym, in particular LOVING boxing with my personal trainer at the gym. I may have slacked off this as I havent done my usual Sunday and Tuesday evening but as off this weekend Im back on track and 500% committed to attending my regular 4 times a week. A lot of the credit of my success goes to my fabulous PT, I burn his ear off most sessions, Im never happy with the weight loss but he is more than happy with my progress, he inspires me to 'keep rocking up" and I am. Once Ive rocked up, he makes sure I do what Im supposed, even on days when I dont think Ive done enough he says Ive done well. I sweat like a trouper now, Im wearing more fitted sports outfits, I just need to get rid of the old baggy-far-too-big jogging bottoms. Im going to shop in the normal section of sports shops this weekend, now I feel I actually fit in a little more by shopping there in the first place, it feels good to walk in with my head held high and not shuffling with my ankles. PS My ankles are no longer swollen; genetically Im sure they are still a tad cankle-like however, there is bone, there is shape and I like them. Another first
  5. Im considering a return to the OFC bootcamps - now thats something I didnt think I would say until a few more months. I was signed off by my physio a few weeks ago, he made more progress with me over 5 sessions than I did with my previous physio over 25 sessions. The man is one of my angels though I think if I told him that he would blush. Alright Mr T!! Ha ha. I will still keep to my promise, I will come and tell you after Ive run my first 5km .... LL we need to get on that jogging training soon. Back to OFC - so there is now a Wednesday evening session that a few if not most of my girlies are attending (they are doing Mon and Weds). I was going to attend, then the combination of the Meditation classes and the fact Im not risking damaging my ankle and not reaching my goal, I opted to start the Yogi-Fitness session in Mirdif from next Monday and every Monday. Its on my doorstep, its in the evening, its outside, its with my weekend gym buddy. Lets get stretching MrsM-Kitty-Lady :). From April, I can see me attending the Wednesday sessions in Safa Parkl - Corey, I will be in touch, I promise. Hope to see you next Monday in Mirdif
  6. I have boundless energy - on good days of course. I feel sluggish when I eat carbs - the od sandwich DOES still pass my lips and then theres the healthier NKD Pizzas ..... sigh! LL was amused recently when I was planning and scheduling lots of skydives, balls, Tastes of Dubai, Ladies Nights etc, all for the same day. Yes are absolutely correct, there was no way a year ago I would have got overly excited about cramming in (1) 8am gym, (2) 12noon skydive, (3) 3pm - 5pm Taste of Dubai then (4) Irish Ball in the same day. You should be very proud lady, youve changed my life for the better and you know I will never thank you enough for you positive influence and motivation. And I will never say again that you ever nagged me ..... ha ha
  7. I cant stop moving! Even if Im sat down my leg is moving or Im rocking (not like a looney thank you very much ....). When I go out, especially to balls I feel like Im dancing all night. Then I realise I have danced all night. I love the music, I love singing along, I love being the usual tit that I am and being silly with the girls. Jesus, Ive even got the confidence to dance with some men and feel confident that Im just as good as the other girls in the room and I dont have to be a funny twat to get a mans attention - though it sometimes helps ..... as one of the girlies said about last weekends balls - "its good to have fun with the girls and remind men that are just playthings ....". What a fabulous night that was ....
  8. I like what I see in the mirror. Take today, Ive run out of work clothes - especially for the bottom half. Everything is bigger and I cant be bothered shopping any more or as often, items of clothing are lasting less than 2 months now, its amusing though and I do smile about it often. However the bank balance is not exactly healthy at the moment to afford a new wardrobe every 2 months. So today, I wore an outfit that I instantly knew I looked good and I felt confident. I had many comments about how noticeable my weight loss is getting and how I looked great. And my answer to these comments? Thanks, I know, I feel great. New words for new moments for the new me. I like it I like it (that ones for Max!)
  9. Weird things are occurring with my body as it changes - nothing too weird so it IS safe to read on. The worst thing is Ive gone a bra cup size - may need a Thailand trip for some assistance later in the year. A couple of months ago I kept think I had something stuck to the back and top of my legs, and it took me a few days to realise that my bum, thigh and leg had separated - nothing Alien-like, just the fact a line had appeared that demonstrated where my bum cheeks ended and where my legs started. You may all have one or some of those lines, these were new additions to my skin. Even now months later when I feel that line I do giggle to myself, I even check out my ass in the mirror in my new size 16 brazilian knickers in polka dot pink and white. Thankfully I can now twist and see it without the rolls of fat on my sides .... which nicely leads to my next bullet ...
  10. ... point! NORDIC WALKING. Ive bored you enough already about this but eventually I was able to confess I had them as I got LL a pair for her Christmas. We both have the top of the range Leki travelers poles that fold so we can take them with us on our many and varied holidays. Mine have so far reached Glasgow (nearly left them there too OMG!) and Sydney, though our 100hrs at NY there didnt permit any nordic walking (PS But I did achieve my goal of wearing a six 16 dress for the occasion). This walking has contributed to a lot of the fat loss and tones shape of my sides (along with my PT gym sessions), and I do love going out for a long walk with them around Mirdif. Im planning a nordic walk around Safa Park soon, to time myself per lap and to start getting some sunshine on my skin - I kind of look Glaswegian-grey at the moment especially my legs!! Its not a good look for my purple outfit for next week..
Most importantly is I seem to be inspiring other people - whether its coincidence or not - my dad and stepma have changed their lives and have lost weight and got healthier and fitter on the iphone WW application. Its great to know they have made such positive changes in their lives and that they keep inspiring me back always. For my mums Christmas pressie Im taking her for a weeks retreat holiday in Turkey and Im just waiting to get the dates confirmed for September or even October - the gift of life to mum and I know for sure her diabetes type 2 and IBS WILL improve after one weeks juicing and walking and relaxing in teh beautiful mountains of Gocek. Next year we will be in Portugal at Jason Vales new resort, and Im sure we will make this an annual holiday for some mother-daughter bonding. I guess Ive kind of grown up over the last 15 months.

Lastly, I want to give a big shout out to my girlies who have started the OFC Boot Camp in Safa Park this week, you know you are all beautiful, you are all amazing ladies, you are strong and determined, you can do this, dont let the DOMs get you down. In the words of our gorgeous MsAJ ......

"Never doubt you can do it - you are in charge"