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28 February - Apologies for my absence ...

Where HAS the last week gone? Ive done so much but not sure its significant for this blog ha ha! This IS going to be a long one!

So after last Tuesdays session with the lovely Scottish Andrew, Ive done several shopping trips. Its amazing to see with my own eyes the portions. I can see VERY clearly where I have gone wrong, for as long as I can remember. As long as I have been in charge of my own shopping and cooking (or takeaways!) Ive over eaten. When I look back at my childhood, it was OK for me to overeat as I was always a "big girl" compared to my sister who was a year older. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecy (yes I did learn something in Sociology class after all.... ). Now Im at a crossroads, I know what a healthy portion is, I need to Just Do It, or says Nike anyway!

Whilst we are talking about Nike, its really and I mean REALLY time that a leading sports brand such as Nike designed, produced and marketed nice (not frumpy NOR too fitting) fitness clothes for people like me. When I commenced this new healthy life style mid January (technically 2nd week) I was a size 22. Trying to find something decent to wear from all the famous sports brand was impossible. Even getting the xxxxl from the mens section was pushing it and even then some were a tad tight. NOt on these bellies its not! Interestingly, for someone who has not been active at all or into fitness except the odd burst of enthusiasm that usually lasts a few days, I did find a large number of jogging bottoms in my wardrobe. Most have been thrown out now as they are too big or too long. 3/4 trouser leg is all the rage now anyway : ). BHS is your best option, Evans here dont stock fitness clothes!!

So back to last week ....

For breakfast I have opted for the easy option. 5/6 medium size strawberries (100g) and 2 scoops of greek yoghurt. Greek yoghurt has a more creamy texture and a far nicer flavour than normal yoghurt. I had recently been eating the 0% fat ones, nasty. This brekkie is fresh and I dont feel hungry like I thought I would. Mid morning snack 3hrs later is either some nuts (80g walnuts or almonds) or blueberries (100g). Im struggling with the blueberries as they taste much nicer with a pomegranate Pinkberry yoghurt ice cream. Lunch has been a measured out mixed salad, but I have swapped the celery for more cucumber - the joys of a personalised diet plan! Afternoon snack is either the blueberries or the nuts but Ive missed this 4th meal of the day apart from the first day. As long as the meals are 3 hrs apart this is the theory. Interestingly, with the amount of bootcamp last week, I felt like I had no energy on Weds and Thurs. Corey has added in a good carb - an apple a day - this is easy for my afternoon snackeroonie! The diet plan only works if it matches my exercise plan and I forgot to tell Andrew about the exercise levels. And my first week weigh in is now tomorrow evening, eeek. Im feeling positive as Ive done a quick sneaky weigh in at the Drs this evening when I was there again, as usual for my blood pressure check (all looking good but I have been off work for 2 days). Looks like over 2kgs in the last week. Im ever hopeful on Andrews scales tomorrow, and as long as the % fat has reduced, this is the number I am more keen to see.

Last week was a bit hit and miss, the only constant was OFC Boot camp. Thursday evening with Corey was tough, only 3 of us, so I couldnt hide. We used 2.5kg weights and did a lot of arm work - I recall being horrible to Corey, something about not wanting to look like Popeye, to which we did 4 more rounds of the same. I was only rude cos I was suffering and my arms really hurt, sorry Corey no need for my rudeness. at Though Im sure you've had worse insults over the years doing these military bootcamps. I was happy about the arm work on Thursday eve as my arms WERE still pumped for the ball on Friday.

My whole damage control for the ball didnt work, once a few glasses of wine hit my system, all was forgotten. I ate the bread, 3 times with butter, I drank the white wine, the gin and tonics really werent that palatable on the night, the quickly downed Singapore Sling (thanks MissAm) was very sour, so my tast buds were damaged. Then there was the old me shot of sambucca. It had to be done. Ok it didnt, but it was lovely. My only saving grace was I danced all night for about 3hours apparently. I didnt notice, the music was excellent, I had the girlies with me, a few vinos thrown in and all was good. I stopped drinking when I started dancing, I didnt sit down all night (that I recall) and I didnt do my usual sweating like a pig (followed by lots of sitting down). I didnt even notice this until LL mentioned to me the day after. It didnt seem a big deal, but it was a big deal. I obviously have more energy, stamina and my body has adapted. Before, the dancing would be my annual fitness activity and I suffered and sweated and didnt last all night. This is all good news as I will be re-living my 20s and 30s when I reach my goal weight. Move over RA-M (you know who you are, Patsy!), that podium is going to be all mine!

However, backtracking to the Thursday eve, before the ball, after the 3rd boot camp of the week. I tried on the fave dress it fitted. Sounds great news, but it was dampened so quickly. I managed to get a dodgy tan line from Singapore the previous weekend, so the dress looked nothing less than RIDICULOUS! So a rampage through my wardrobe, trying on all my cocktail dress, taking pics in the mirror and sending each one to LL, the conclusion was - I need to go shopping for a whole new outfit. Thank god Mirdif City Centre was open until midnight. I found some pink shoes and matching handbag I liked in Dune. No time. Dress required first. Monsoon to the rescue, only not the right size. Damn. However it was a lovely feeling to be trying on size 18 dresses with a bigger choice instead of the usual 4 or 5 choices at size 22. And that was only beginning of January this year! Thanks you OFC Boot camp! So, dress. Mpnsoon. Soze 18 a bit too tight. Size 22 far too big (yay), size 20 - not in stock. A quick (well 20mins) call to Festival City proved successful and 20 mins later I was in another mall. It was now 1130pm and I hadnt eaten, so 6 Bateel dates for dinner later I tried on my reserved Monsoon dress and paid for it quickly. A quick dash to Dune - bugger my left foot is still too swollen and they didnt do my size. Ladies, those bright pink suede shoes are to die for! And Im not that kind of girl. Maybe it comes with fitting into the shoes and clothes and not being outsized of the market?

I had a sacrafice to make - tomorrow I couldnt do the Falcon trip with little "L". Sorry love, next time, thank
goodness you are not old enough to remember your Fatexpat Aunty abandoned you at the last minute. 10am Friday morning, back to Mirdif City Centre. Found the pashmina, shoes, and handbag. All bargains too. Bloody brilliant! And all that stressing, trying on dresses on and off, walking the lengths and depths of 2 malls in 2hours, just think of all the calories. Just think of the fat burned. Just think of the leg toning. AND after a boot camp session. I will ask again, and for a long time yet Im sure - who am I? Friday was followed by my day of pampering which was stressful in itself, just fitting everything in - body scrub and massage (its a tough life I know), manicure and pedicure and some threading (oucha!!), hair cut and styled (not as planned, the purple rinse was all that was missing), re-painted nails after "bubbling", home to re-do the hair-do. Quick drink and some chocs as I ge ready, I get to the ball late.

Another change I found was dealing with my hangover - I didnt go mad on cheesey wotsits, diet coke and pizza. Instead lunch at MORE cafe was the healthy lean steak with veggies and salad. Who am I? My theory was that this must cure my hangover better and faster than my old ways. It did for a while. I now have to confess I ate some salty crisps later that day, followed by some arabic food. The hangover was delayed but I still needed food to make me feel better. Still, it was a definite improvement on the old ways and old takeaways, I ordered salad to go with my humous and haloumi cheese!

Ive since had a cold for 2 days, and been feeling miserable a home. Weirdly its really bad in the morning and by 4pmish I feel Ok. I went to boot camp tonight as I thought sweating it out would speed up the recovery in time for me to go back to work tomorrow. Indeed it did. But more importantly, I felt for the first time the difference in how I was when I started boot camp 2nd week of January. There was a huge number of new joiners for the session tonight, for the month ahead. There were 24 of us, a bit different to the 3 of us last Thursday thats for sure. And without feeling bad towards others and in a purely selfish way, I didnt come last and I wasnt the worst in the class. Though I know that that feels like. And lets me honest here I was still in the bottom 50% of the group, I havent suddenly sprinted my way to 1st place, but give me time hee hee! But there was definite progress. As I finished my run I looked at my old team mates and thy were smiling, I looked across to Corey and he pointed to the park where the rest of the group were still running, he looked back and I pulled up 2 corny thumbs up. I was out of breath, but I knew I had done well compared to before. Gives me hope for the next BFA - Corey when is that? I had a sense of achievement, and I will make sure that I encourage those I run past in the future, that I was there before, and only 7 weeks ago. Im someone that can show others small improvements can be achieved and how this feels. Good luck to all my new co-boot campers, its tough, you will feel like crying and giving up but dont give up. As Zaid told me at the first session (you will meet him on Weds), and his words still ring in my ears any day I think about not going to boot camp - just keep ricking up - thats the hard part. Once youre there youre there. As LL also keeps telling me, every move burns calories, so keep moving. It will be worth it.

The biggest sign of the changes to my appearance were my co-boot campers from January commenting on how I had changed - 2 I met in MORE cafe on Saturday, and I was chuffed it was noticeable. My co-bootcamper who used to do the Friday runs with me returned and she noticed a difference. Even if I dont see it or feel it, there are changes going on. And to see 5% fat loss in my body in 7 weeks and 2kgs+ loss in the last week after 2 weeks of standstill, something is definitely going in and all good things!

Rock on March - Im going home to see my family on 1 April, I have a goal in mind and I need to now get MY mind in order. I need to get organised, shopping and chopping, I need to keep up my weekly meetings with Andrew Dietician and I need to do more on the non boot camp days. I also need to get back to walking up the stairs at work, I didnt do any of that last week. I MUST also drink more water - Corey says 3ls a day, 4.5ls on a boot camp day. Wow, I dont drink enough! Im off to buy shares in Masafi.

Good luck fellow Mirdif Boot Campers and see you all on Wednesday and Thursday. Thanks Corey, this stuff DOES work, and I was your biggest skeptic! HUA!







22 February - Back on Track with Ruby Tuesday

A little more sleep last night, still feeling clumsy and a bit foggy. Why do I do overnight flights and straight into the office! Ah yes, cos I love holidays and weekends away.

Monday was not a good day, but one day of negativity now and again wont kill me, I just need to reduce them some more.

What a great day today has been. Myself and MissA were able to have an appointment with the lovely Scottish Andrew - ok, you can now get your recommended link. Especially since there is a link I need to add here to advise people what kind of character we have in our Dietitian (I seriously cannot spell that word, what IS wrong with me!!!). Email Andrew Picken on bespokenutrition@gmail.com. He works from the Dubai Physiotherapy and Family Medicine Clinic in Jumeirah Town Centre - www.dubaiphysio.com.

Andrew is a great guy, full of passion and energy about what he can offer people like me, and just wants to help us to get healthy and learn everything we need to do to move on and survive our new lives. Tonight was weigh in day - BCA again, this time a different clinic. Last time I had a BCA my body fat was 46.6%. I was very pleased to read tonight that it was reduced to 41.9%. Progress, but no time to celebrate and get complacent. Time to kick ass into my 2nd piece of my children jigsaw puzzle. With the ball coming up on Friday, 2kgs before next Tuesday is my loss goal. Then after that Im looking at 4kgs. Time to get home, and shopping and get prepared.

Tonight I got a sore back from standing and chopping and packing portions of food into every tupperware dish I could. Thankfully tupperware is an obsession that I was introduced to by my mum many many years ago. Its not called that anymore officially but in my apartment its tupperware, ok!? Im ready for the next few days, I have portions of raw almonds and walnuts, portion of olives, strawberries and blueberries ready to go. Greek yoghurt, 2 versions to try but had some of "Rachels" with the excess blueberries (about 54g) for dinner. I wasnt even hungry, I didnt want to cook and waste the food so this was a good back up for tonight I thought. Still not hungry and its past midnight.

So if youre looking for a great, recommended Dietitian, Andrew is your man. Be aware though, that there are several ladies who have a crush on this young man, so he MAY get booked up and busy quite quickly. He is proving to be a big hit with the ladies in Dubai - he is the scottish Dubai version of my brother in the UK, he was always a hit with any female he meets. Even now his mum and 4 big sisters all still look out for him and he knows it! On a serious note, Andrew is a breath of fresh air to this whole process, so if youre like me and need huge doses of inspiration, positivity and an energy that you can immediately soak up, email Andrew now. Just dont book him out until I have completed my 8 week course!

Thanks Andrew, youve changed my outlook on this week that started off pretty bad, it can only get better from here one - Im organised, prepared and ready to get through the next week. 2kgs, here we come. And last words of the day, its always easier and much more fun to do this with a friend - whether its my LL Guru pushing me and keeping me focused, or whether its the lovely MissA attending the 8 week course with me, or whether its the co boot campers who look out for each other, all I know is I cant do this alone. Im feeling lucky and grateful for my lot tonight. Except, I need someone to shrink my swollen legs and ankles, anyone got any ideas?

Night night Ruby Tuesday : )

21 February - I dont like Mondays

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-ooo-woo-oot
The whole day down, down, down, shoot it all down



A great song I was brought up with, I still remember understanding the lyrics, then when youre all grown up, it all makes much more sense. Mondays ... they usually dont bother me but today they did!


Work, what can I say. Something has just got to give, and I cant afford it to be my health or my sanity. Had a bad day but someone eventually listened and took note of the issues and what Ive had to deal and cope with for the last 5 months. A little torch light at the end of the tunnel has been lit, lets see if I can reach it to switch it on to full beam soon.


By the time I left work, I was late. I was thinking of all the excuses to not go to boot camp tonight, what excuse cold I come up with. What a waste of time. Its not school, I choose to go or not to go, I choose to move my ass or sit on it and watch catch up Holby City. I was only going to be excusing myself, noone else is going to benefit or not from my decision. I dont have any idea how I actually persuaded myself to go, I just went through the motions of getting ready. I cant remember what I said to myself to do it, I wish I could remember so I could bottle that thought of write it down for the many next times this feeling of complete frustration and sadness comes over me. 


I didnt do my best, I felt my legs expanding as if they were going to burst when we did the running around the park. However, THANK YOU COREY  from OFC! Music AND boxing. Loved it, want more of it. Im glad I showed up. My concentration levels were not there, my commitment to making bigger efforts was lost somewhere at the office, but I "rocked up". I got past one of my brick walls and previous failings. By the time I got home, I had an emotional call with LL, and she is my rock! I know she is right, I tell other people the same words all the time. Work is not worth it, the reasons for all this negativity is a waste of my energy, and I am worth so much more. 


Ive been off focus for the last 2 weeks - Im stuck in similar place as I have had on many occassions before, on the brink of getting past a very mentally progressive number on the scales. I need t push myself to get over that bump, and after that I know I can sail it. I have no idea why I have this mental block and I always get stuck at this weight and number. I need to tell myself I can get past it, I can break the old habits of a lifetime.


So THANK YOU ANDREW Dietician - he sent me my personalised diet plan for the week, and it looks great. I just need to get that first appointment of the 8 week course in my diary, scheduled and agreed and take the next steps. My new life is a jigsaw puzzle with many pieces. It really looks like a 1 year old jigsaw but Im getting back to basics, why complicate things. Boot camp with OFC is one of the big pieces of the puzzle as this is also encouraging me to run on spare days. Im trying to run on a Friday morning and at least once in the week - most likely an evening, non boot camp day. The 2nd piece of the jigsaw puzzle is the diet - and not making up myself getting the professional advice, guidance and support I need to take this new life to the next level.


There are 2 more pieces to the puzzle - one is sorting my head out so I am able to break the old habits even further, and the last is improving my appearance - yes Botox, tummy tucks and any other plastic surgery I so wish to complete is the last piece of the jigsaw, when I reach my goal weight. Perhaps Ive lived too long in Dubai, but I also feel like I want to go back to all the years I have lost. All the years in my 20s and 30s when I cold party like I was that age, the times I  never had the energy, confidence, clothes that were fashionable enough or liked myself. Fat girls cant dance well and just look ridiculous. Im not generalizing there, Im talking about myself and what Ive seen many times over the years. I would be honest and say there has only been 1 night in my whole 8 years of my partying (not too much in recent years) when I was out clubbing, with friends and felt good enough, confident and pretty enough, and wearing the right clothes to be accepted into the "dancing" arena. That night was a success on many levels, so this feeling of liking myself is the image and focus t get me through the next few days and weeks.


And tomorrow is another day. Goodbye Monday, you can stick it where the sun doesnt shine  ; )

18 - 20 February - I left my heart in Singapore

What a great weekend I had all to myself. In particular the 2 Singapre Slings on Thursday evening, plus and extra cocktail for good measure.

I resisted the buffet breakfasts by eating one of my fruit snack bars with water as I got ready for the day. I didnt drink enough water, I didnt eat enough or regularly enough. I failed on many levels but sooo different from before. I DID manage to squeeze in a veggie curry in Little India, and some room service nasi goreng and chicken satay - 11pm is perhaps NOT the ideal time to eat after lunch at 3pm! I justified it all as I walked 4hrs on Thursday, 10hrs on Friday and I think 7hrs on Saturday. I even missed the plate of spring rolls in Chinatown for AED3, as I was busy walking and looking at all the pretty buildings and of course some bargain shopping. I love Singapore.

At the airport after a minor "Banged Up Abroad" paranoia moment, I opted for a Subway Chicken Salad with water - still trying to be good, I assure you. I did have the low fat french dressing on it though. It did take me 30mins os standing and queuing to get it. The water was taken from me at the departure gate as we went through security. I drank double glasses of water on board the flight, no alcohol. I did eat the carb overdose - I ate allll the breakfast except the cooked tomato; there are just some veggies that should not be cooked!

Had THE worst day at work, didnt have time for more than 3 sips of water, and a fruit brekkie bar, by the end of the day my legs an ankles were swollen to double their usual size, both legs too, not just the usual left leg, which would swell when I drank alcohol - delayed reaction from Thursday perhaps?! A quick trip the Drs showed the BP back up to 147/95. The job has to go, especially when you have someone medically trained telling you to resign as the job is putting me at high risk of a heart attack or a stroke! Great, welcome back to Dubai.

I had all but a few hours sleep on on off since I woke at 4am Dubai time (8am Singapore time) on Saturday, by the time I eventually closed my eyes I had been awake for 42hours. Demented? No, I was quite awake and with it, I even managed to watch 5 episodes of catch up American Idol. 1 more to go, thats for tomorrows insomnia episode.

I was VERY glad the day was over and I had a plan for work ....... Bye Bye Singapore, I will be back again soon.

16 - 17 February - I like holidays I do

Im writing this from my free upgraded exec club room, after my last minute business class upgrade on Emirates; I used my points but they were expiring in 2 weeks, I would rather have had the upgrade on the return journey but just in case it was full, it was good to use them now.

I finished a good session at bootcamp last night, there were only 3 of us but Ive finally found something I can do reasonably well. Skipping! All those years of skipping in the back garden and at school has paid off, just a shame I havent skipped my way through the last 38 years and I wouldnt be needing boot camp at all. So skipping is on the agenda. I have skipping ropes at home. In my cupboard, still in their wrapping, I think I bought them about 4 years ago, gulp! I did struggle with the legs in the air crunches, so development areas learned this week are strengthen my neck and tummy. That tummy part is going to take some time, but looking around me now at the lush hotel room carpet, there is space and comfort to get some crunch practice in over the next 2 days.

Before I left for the airport, I went to Uptown Mirdif to book a spa for a friend, and I was ether having blood pressure floating issues or I was experiencing my first exercise high. I dont know for sure, as Im still hanging on to the blood pressure explanation, but regardless, I was walking with a skip, and it felt good. perhaps it was just the fact I was going on a short holiday. I do like my holidays! I pottered at home and packed and then departed for the airport. Im pleased to report that the new black and gold dress that cost me AED50 in the sale a few weeks ago, fits me. Size 18. Now how the hell do I chose what dress to wear a week on Friday. Life before was easy, I only had limited choice, easier.

I am also pleased to advise that as my feet have lost weight (still find this all a bit weird - Im losing first off my feet, boobs and back, can we now please focus on the bellies!!), and my pink walking boots fit very much looser than before, great! I sailed through the airport with more skip in my step, chatting to strangers as I bought my new camera and ate some Pinkberry yoghurt ice cream (my name is X and Im addicted to Pinkberry). I was recommending camera makes to a handsome man from Oz and advising the pomegranate Pinkberry was the best to an old english gentleman. I was skipping my way to the T1 Business Class Lounge at Gate 122. At first I was very happy that my flight departed from gate 125, then I realised that meant less walking - I liked my walks between T1 and T3. Ok that only meant more effort on the way. I chose escalators that allowed me to walk up steps, not the lifts. I zig zagged through Duty free, and climbed down the steps to T1 avoiding the escalators. I refused the travelators and walked with yet more skip and spring in my step. At the lounge I limited my intake to 2 glasses of bubbly but did have some carb snacks. Ooops. Oh Im on holiday!!!

I tried to upgrade at checkin but as I have a temporary Skywards card they couldn't do the transaction, there were 2 seats left. When I reached the lounge the seats were gone, my only option was to be 4th on the waiting list. 4 is my lucky number so I was feeling hopeful. I got the good news at the departure gate - marvelous!!! I did have to buy some extra miles in advance to ensure I had enough for the full upgrade, otherwise I would have lost 15,000 points! Not in my lifetime thank you! I wasnt bothered it was a middle seat, I was just so happy to be in business. I feel this is where I belong : ). I got just over 5hours sleep, had 1 glass of bubbly, watched 1 movie and had some breakfast - so much more civilised than economy!

I had managed my expectations about the poor service reviews of the iconic Marina Bay Sands Hotel, so as you can imagine, expect the worse, you just might get a surprise. The bus transfer was on time and on arrival at the hotel it was easy to find checkin. It was busy in the large lobby however I had a glass of rose bubbly given to me as I stood 3rd in the checkin queue and next thing I know Im being given an exec club room free of charge but without the facilities, all because my mid range room was not available. And here I am, floor 36 overlooking the city ...  and planning my walk to see where I can run in the morning. I will be wearing my OFC tshirt too!

To summarise, if you feel positive, positive things will happen to you. If you feel confident or lucky, you will be just that. If you give good vibrations (or just some skipping will do) out to the universe nice things will happen. Im feeling very grateful for the all the positivity and all the nice and great things that have happened to me in the last 24hrs, this weekend can only get better. The Law of Attraction? You might just work for me yet .... and thats without even thinking about it! And if it can be about my fitness and losing weight, even better still. I like holidays I do!

15 February - Epiphany ....

From an email from a lady I met some time ago in Dubai who is inspirational in many ways. This is this weeks Epiphany and how very apt it is :

Everything happens in exactly the manner and time that is for your highest good. So instead of getting frustrated and fighting too hard to change things, first accept the situation as it is 

and bless it completely, knowing that you have attracted it into your life for a learning that is very 
important to your soul's growth. Next, have the faith that once your learning is complete the situation will transform naturally into a better one. Finally, imagine the situation transformed, and feel the feelings that you would feel once its transformed, WITHOUT worrying about how it will be done. When we think about the "hows", we are looking at the situation with our limited perspective and placing blocks in the path of the universe which knows the best way to resolve things for us. Just focus on the feelings that you will feel when the situation is transformed in a manner that is 
for your highest good. Imagine that it has happened already and take those feelings of gratitude and relief and peace and amplify them within yourself. Keep yourself anchored in these positive feelings at all times, with faith and belief that as you send out these positive energies and vibrations out into the universe, you are magnetizing the new situation towards you and it is on the way. The more consistent you are in emitting these positive vibrations, the faster the situation will transform. And all that time keep actively looking for your learning. Ask yourself 'How am I reacting? Is this producing the results that I want? How else could I react if I were tapping into my highest potential?' By changing your reaction, you are learning a new way to approach the situation, and in that lies your learning. 

** Pls join the NEW epiphany facebook group on http://www.facebook.com/pages/Epiphany/174656255899560

12 - 15 Feb - Happy St Valentines Day/Week

Its the week of lurrrve. Or love if you take this stuff really seriously. Single in Dubai on this particular occasion is not offensive. Being single in Dubai forever IS offensive. Note to self - must leave Dubai before I go past my sell by date!

This week Ive decided to love me! Not that I haven't loved me before, but Ive never really liked myself, mostly because of the weight and lack of control and discipline over the food consumption and habits, and the lack of exercise. However, now Im making progressive steps in the right direction, I think its about time to be more free with the loving.

So Ive confirmed my 3 days trip (technically 2.5 days) in Singapore, my first ever solo tripette without meeting someone else, traveling one way with someone else, and not knowing a bloody thing about the city. It has been a stressful week just choosing the hotel, just think of the calories burned. After going back and forth and reading every review on tripadvisor.com, I booked myself in to the Marina Bay Sands Hotel - I think is THE current iconic building in Singapore right now. The reviews say its shite, however, Im only using it for the "tick the box", the 200m high infinity pool overlooking the city, the Banyan Tree Spa, the alcohol free 24hr Casino and of course a bed to sleep in when I am not wandering the streets. I plan to buy some roller skates, otherwise it inline skates in my suitcase. I want fishes to pamper my feet. I want several massages at several spas as and when I feel like it or stumble upon them. I want to cover Chinatown, Little India, and Orchard Road. I want to run early every morning before breakfast then eat breakfast and start my walkabout. I want to sleep early both nights so I can wake early and enjoy 2 full days of Singapore noodles and chilli crab (I dont eat crab as a rule however there are exceptions and I will try anything once...). I want to have some me time, but Im happy if anyone wants to travel with me or join me at any point in time. Its all about loving me and thats a tonne of love heading my way this weekend. Superb. Who says I need a man ha ha!

Apart from planning the trip and working hard, this week so far I missed boot camp. I was not a happy bunny, however, the people who decide whether to pay my salary or not to fund such loving trips, had some urgent work for me to complete on Monday evening after I left the office. I was psyching myself up to the Monday OFC Mirdif Boot camp session, and was quite annoyed I would miss it. I had better give it some tomorrow (Wednesday) since I will be in Singapore come Thursday! Its hell week too. It was lovely to receive an email full of concern regarding my whereabouts from one of my co-bootcampers, its nice to be missed! And what a great team bond we have, I didnt realise how much until I read that email today. No worries, Im there tomorrow, even if it means a mad dash after the session to the airport. It will be all worth it when I see more kgs fall off and I fit smaller and smaller sized clothes.

At my weekly weigh in on Monday I lost 0.4kgs. Not a huge loss but considering the 1 session of boot camp and the 2 days conference and dinners last week, Im pretty chuffed. Previously after such weeks I would have potentially gained 2 - 4kgs easy. I just need to get over this blip and keep moving and moving everything up a notch.

On an even more positive note, Andrew Dietician came up trumps. MissA and myself attended a one on two session this evening, and commenced our nutritional journey. Despite the ball pending a week on Friday we will trial the personal plans we will receive in a few days and then decide when we want the one on two sessions. I love his passion and knowledge, his sense of humour and he still looks like my brother! He is so very scottish and I feel very at home with him. He is my next part of the new me jigsaw and Im looking forward to the 8 week educational journey with him. For selfish reasons, Im not going to recommend him yet until I have my schedule secured with him. Selfish and mean I know. Its all about loving me ....

I was soooo inspired and focused on what I need to do next, when I arrived home this evening at 930pm, I changed straight into my running gear. Next thing I know Im jogging round my Friday route. using mind over matter. Not focussing on my heavy legs. Positive thinking. Take bigger strides I will go further and faster. Keep breathing, get into my rhythm, breathe through my nose as much as I can as LL suggested (but its cold!), think of the fave dress, think of the shrinking size, think of the next beach holiday ... focus focus focus. Yessssssss - 23 seconds faster than last Friday, 4 days ago! I can keep getting better and better. As OFC Corey says, its all in the mind. Im keeping that thought. bring on the February BFA. HUA!

Smartie Pants

Everyone reading this will definitely be interested in reading my co-weightloss-get-fit-and-healthy counterpart in the UK (the other one being bullied by LL!). Give him all your support and encouragement, this is a life changing time.

www.smartie-smartiepants.blogspot.com

Now Smartie Pants, you are TOO funny, I love reading your blogs. Perhaps we can negotiate a double publishing deal??

GOOD LUCK for tomorrows weekly weigh-in. Im rooting and totting for you!

11 February - If I can anyone can ....

Last night when I got home, I was awake, a little tired, but I knew the weekend had arrived, so what better to do than stay up. Just cos I can!

2 episodes of Holby City done, it was 3.30am. And what a load of nonsense. If anyone else is following, can someone tell me if an Eastenders writer has joined their team. What a load of shite - the episode where "Patsy" (Kensit - I dont know the Holby City name) goes to Cape Town and her BF and another Dr follow her to rescue her. Load of toss, what was I staying up late watching that for, when I could have watched my quality weekly dose of American Idol instead - no thats saved for Saturday : ).

I slept for about 6hrs, woke up feeling a tad queasy (must have been the large consumption of water last night, I really over did it!). I was contemplating going back to sleep, when I remembered I had to still select and book my hotel for next weekend. OMG, excitements. Morning world, Im awake.

Needless to say, Im still looking and about to head off to MORE Cafe to read my Lonely Planet guide to help narrow down my choices whilst eating my spinach salad. So much to do, see, eat and enjoy, and so many places to stay. OK, narrow down to easy access to a running route (Yes LL, I have surpassed even your expectations and googled the words "running" and "singapore" and "routes" in the same box!). Also, must have a spa and pool. Im considering an energising  scrub Thursday evening, a relaxing massage Fri (after my Singapore Sling at Raffles) and an Thai massage type treatment to keep me going on my overnight flight back to the desert.

So back to Friday and my weekly run around where I live. last week I did it in 17mins 42s, beating the previous week of 18mins 7s, and also running nonstop. Today I excelled myself, new PB time is 16mins 43 s and STILLLLL NONSTOP. My legs hurt, but kept telling myself I needed the blood pumped around those strained muscles from last week, and Im consciously aware next week is hell week at bootcamp. And its a 3 day session too. All building up for the ball on Fri 25th. 

I even thought my legs looked a bit slimmer looking downwards .....................

Enjoy your weekend x

9 - 10 February - I will survive!

First I was afraid (of the lack of my discipline). I was petrified (if I lost my discipline, a carb overdose was on the cards). Kept thinking I could never live without sticky pastries and cakes by my side. But I spent so many nights (and years) thinking how you'd did me wrong. But I grew strong. I learned how to carry on.

And I just about did. Survive and carry on that is. I had a 1hr presentation to a group of CEOs from the region I will be starting to work with within these 2 days. You would have thought that Id be a little nervous or anxious about this. But no, I was more nervous about what temptations would lie ahead for the next 2 days, out of the office, in an all day conference with the usual and predictable goodies that only Dubai hotels can provide. The amount of food they offer borders on the riduclous, and ridiculous as it seems, everyone succumbs to their temptations every time. Me being first in the queue.

I arrived around 8amish and checked the breakfast temptations on offer before I entered to the room, before I said good morning to anyone. I had to suss out my weaknesses before the black devil takes over my conscious thinking and actions later. I saw a yellow looking custard and cereal thing that was the healthiest option. I was disappointed there was no fruit options. I grabbed an earl grey tea with cold milk - yuck it was full fat milk. Dirrrty! I was happy I had eaten my daily portion of nuts with a bottle of water on the way, at least my tummy was full and wasnt going to lure me towards temptation later in the morning. I had a plan!!

I survived the morning and at the yellow looking custard ceral (and fruit) thing. It WAS a bit sugary but was the better option to the pastries, cookies and croissants on offer. I drank as much water as I could and also had a glass of apple juice. More sugar but was better than the overdose of caffeine beside the juices.

We selected lunch - I chose salad, steak then fruit. All good except the fruit should have been eaten before dinner but I needed some vitamins in the meal. The steak side orders werent going to offer any. I had a few chips and left some - yes I left half the chips on my plate! I ate the few thin onion rings, fried I know but it was only a few slithers. I DID have a small bread roll and butter before - wrong move but it was nice!

Mid afternoon - I confess to eating 3 small cookies, then I felt like a failure. What was I thinking. SO I guzzled lots of water to try and compensate - how exactly, Im still not really sure. Needless to say, all the drinking made for quite a few trips to the powder room. And than good for that too!!

After Mondays OFC Boot camp, I knew I would be suffering, but I didn't think I would suffer more than I had the first week of boot camp. However, it was day 2 of the DOMS! So there I was, at random times through the day, attempting to get up and down from the conference trying to look normal, and try to walk out the door. Once out of the room, I took baby steps, and once I was in the powder room I was holding onto the walls to get into the squat position to try and stretch out the pain. Why was I wearing heels??! A little bit of stretching helped ease the pain for those few minutes and walking back always seemed a breeze. However as soon as I sat down again, the stiffness and pain returned, each time a little worse than the bit before. But I survived and I was able to baby step back to my apartment for my 5 minute change for evening dinner. However, it would have been easier if I had used a wheelchair the entire day ......

Dinner at my CEOs pad on the Palm. Catered by Chef Uwe! I had 2 small pasty nibbles, a chicken satay stick and a spring roll. Naughty but yum. I stuck to 2 juices and the rest of the evening on water. There was BBQ meat veggies and salad. I did have 4 very teeny weeny boiled potatoes and 1 teeny weeny choc mouse with fresh pineapple after. I didnt do TOO badly, no bread, no alcohol, no carb overdose and def no pudding overdose. Day 1 done, time for bed because Im awake in a mere 5.5hours. Eeek. Only a little nervous about my morning presentation but that can only burn calories, right?

Morning Day 2 - I had a an early morning meeting with my UK Boss (I have several bosses ... very confusing and equally frustrating at times). I didnt check the morning temptations. I had eaten my nuts with water on the drive in. I was prepared to resist temptation again. I did, except 2 small glasses of apple juice this time. Lunch was cheese and tomato salad (very nice actually), then chicken on mashed pots with gravy and green beans. It was delicious though I know the mashed tatties were not a great option but it was rude not to eat them. I left a mouthful of them at the end. Pud was meringue with fruits of the forest (clearly I have never identified this forest where my fruits have come from for years and Im really not sure its exists! Whoever invented that nonsense was definitely related to the no-pain-no-gain idiot!). Still, I knew I had eaten sugar, but hey, it WAS  low fat!

FYI, my presentation went well. I kept telling myself (calm, confident and brilliant) and I was. I expected some resistance, opposition maybe some heckling but there was none. So Im now even more excited to move into the next phase of the new job - South Africa (Cape Town, Johannesburg and soon Durban), St Petersburgh and Moscow I hope will be next, Czek and Slovakia to follow (summer and winter and some beer ploise!), Poland for sure, Hungary a must too but seems to be less a business priority. Roll on my travel adventures and gold Skywards thank you please!

Mid afternoon, I had my 2nd to last temptation to avoid. I had a coffee in the morning to keep me awake - that lasted 2hrs and 20mins (I timed it from my first sip to my next yawn). In the afternoon I had another, least I knew it was going to be a reasonably early finish around 5pm. YAY, there was fruit in the afternoon. I didnt even look at the cakes and pastries and cookies, I can even tell you how many there were and I didnt feel the need to make a physical and mental effort to resist temptation.

I was however still in pain. It was the 3rd day. It was starting to improve, a few more squats and lunge type moves in the powder room and things were improving. By the time dinner arrived, I had forgotten alllll about the pain and walked at speed through Souk Al Bahar ready for dinner. I was early, they were all up the BK (Burj Khalifa, though those  2 letters usually refer to Burger King - what a great idea, they would have BK up the BK!!). Rivington Grill bar, with my pink grapefruit juice, eyeing up the menu, panicking as there was NOTHING remotely healthy, low fat etc on the menu. I cant have more red, chicken or fish would have been ideal. The choice was removed from me - we had a set menu - choice of 2 starters mains and puds. I had garlic mushrooms on toast (oops white bread, but only a small thin crispy slice). I choose the veggie option over the (soon to find out massive) steak. I had butternut and something veggie tart. Bugger I forgot about the unhealthy pasty. Oh well, it was delicious anyway. Lots of water to drink, avoiding the 20 bottles of red and white wine that was demolished by the other 10 - there was only me and the CEOs EA not drinking. Amusing to watch but didnt feel part of the team as I was not getting delirious and laughing hysterically like the others. Sobriety is an interesting state, especially when with work colleagues, senior work colleagues at that. Thankfully I was at the top of the table and had freedom to escape anytime. I still enjoy the dancing fountains, they still make me feel all snuggly and cosy inside, and sad when its over. Day over, I headed home.

It wasnt a perfect 2 days, however, they werent a complete disaster either. Compared to the old me, I was disciplined, I didnt demolish the carb overdose singlehandedly, and I stayed sober reducing the temptations anymore. So to all those bad carbs, to all those hotels that oversupply and have tempted me in the past, to my little devil with the big black out curtain, I have a mere few words to you all :


Go on now go
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
You think I'd crumble
You think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive


Last point to add - an interesting one. A few years ago, I used to start my day with a redbull and drink 1.5l of diet coke (minimum) through the day, often more at weekends. I cut down and eventually more or less cut out that nonsence a few years ago however, since reading Jason Vale Juicemaster books I have realised HOW bad this stuff actually is for the body, for me. Its nasty, chemical crap that can change hormone balance and damage every internal organ and tissue in the body. Not can - DOES! My UK boss is addicted to this stuff, she had 3 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon and I think even one with lunch. Im going to give her a copy of Jasons book to read in 2 weeks when she is in town again. I started to think about the crap I have put in my body over the years, how I have never looked after this "home" Im living in (see Jason Vale!). What a truly lucky girl I am that I dont have any major health issues. As I said to my mum last week, if the only thing I have  as a result of this poor lifestyle, eating habits and lack of exercise is high blood pressure that I have to take meds for the rest of my life, then so be it! I think Ive survived THAT well more than anything else. Im seriously a very lucky girl. The diet coke addiction brought my old life back to me, and I dont want it any more. It is so hard making the changes but IM liking this new me who is emerging.

For example, im planning my 3 day trip to Singapore next weekend - Ive already discovered there are a huge number of inline skating shops there - perhaps I will get my roller skates there or maybe I will brave it and buy some inline and just go for it! I have am image of me skating along the Singapore streets in the morning. Im also trying to chose a hotel that has some nice areas to run/walk in the morning and has a good fitness centre. The old diet coke m wold never have been thinking like that.

All I know is that I today will be shopping for my 7lbs in 7 days week ahead (thank you JV!), so that I can lose some kgs before Singapore, so that I can enjoy the SQ treats, but knowing that I will also be exercising to ensure my metabolism keeps improving. next week is my juicing week. I have exactly 2 weeks until my ball and that fave dress is going to fit me comfortably. Its in my sights. I just need to pick things up no.

Happy weekend everyone : ))))

7 February - Part 2

Ive got one word - Crossfit!!! Boot camp was interesting this evening, tough and I learnt something new. My thighs and legs are not strong. I always thought they were reasonably OK, based on the fact they carry this weight around all the time. I can sense what the next 2 days holds for me already, the 2nd day I will be at the 1st day of the conference, attempting to look normal when standing and sitting; I may have to fake a back injury so I get away with it with ease. Gave Corey some cheek tonight, I must be getting slightly fitter to be able to speak during the session!!

However, I am glad it was a tough session, I needed to feel some pain to remind me to do extra exercises this week ahead. Ive got LL reminding me daily, HOW could I possibly forget. Ive already been requested (!) to do 10 jumping jacks in the morning when I wake - LL do you remember I dont DO mornings. But hey I will give it a go. Can I get away with sitting on the toilet when doing my weights or is that just pushing it a bit too far?

Andrew Dietician is avoiding my calls - he knows he owes me AED500! And a free week 1 session. Think I will stalk him til he gives in....

Ive booked our skydiving for May - www.skydiveduabi.com - for me and LL.Ive got my Juicemaster Retreat in Turkey booked, the RAF bootcamp one - http://www.juicemaster.com/retreats/7lbs-in-7-days.html/?___store=default. All I need is mum to confirm her trip end March and Petra (walking!!) can get booked in and squeezed in before a few days in the UK, as well as the Dead Sea for a seperate weekend. So all I need right now is to be notified of the Public Hols for next week. Pretty please let it be a Thursday so I can selfishly take myself to Singapore for the long weekend - or do I choose the Maldives. Singapore is more tier miles and cheaper ......

Im off to watch some telly and nibble on my fave olives I forgot I bought last week. Yummmmm!

7 February - Lets just get it over with

Weigh in - gained 0.3kgs (that will be the 2 slices of carrot cake on Fri and Sat, and the fried rice last night).
Or perhaps its muscle gain? Maybe, but lets be honest, I very much doubt it.

Great news though - BP is 120/79 and resembling normality. As long as it reads the same later this week, again on Monday and Thursday next week, there may be progress in this area. Still being told not to presume anything until I get a series of BP readings the same as this. Apparently it could have been a one off. Que????

I think the BP was lower today as  was busy planning my weekend in Singapore in just over a week, and then an option of the Maldives arose. Then I was planning a weekend in Bahrain with LL. Then I was checking the flights to Singapore and was happy to see they fit in with maximising time in the city. Please just announce the public holiday so I can book and then pack. Me myself and I. Lovely!

Im about to dash off toe boot camp - Im really going to have to go for it. Only 1 session this week. And 2 days of hotel conferences Weds and Thurs. The run is going to have to occur tomorrow (hopefully after I transfer Finn at RTA.....) and also double workout at the weekends.

More work when I return from boot camp so signing off til tomorrow. Hope I managed to steam my fish and veg for dinner tonight .................

6 February - What ever happened to "lazin' on a Sunday mornnnning"?

I have this great theory - I wont suffer from Monday morning blues while my working week begins on a Sunday! Today was Sunday and I had the Sunday morning blues. Work again! And all I was thinking about was my old UK Sundays, lying in bed with the newspaper (Sunday Mirror of course) and watching the omnibus of Hollyoaks. Those were the days : ). The days before responsibility, work and work pressure. Yuck, the person who invented that MUST have been the person who said No Pain No Gain. I will find you ... you cannot hide forever!

I decided to work from home, again. I just couldn't bear the thought of all those interruptions and the wasted time driving to and from work. I was in panic mode as I had neglected my mounting emails for the last 2 weeks at least! I had no idea what was in there, would I find I had painfully missed something important? (yes I did .....). I also didnt want to get out of my PJs, have a shower or do my hair and makeup. Not only did I save on fuel I also saved a pair of contact lenses. The scottish side of me is till there! Noice!

Working from home has many challenges - staying focused on work whilst eating healthy. At any time I can pick up the phone and order pizza, Chinese, Thai - whatever I want. At any time I can get in the car and drive to a garage, drive to the mall and get a pinkberry pomegranate yoghurt ice cream with fruits. Its hard despite throwing out all the take away menus, there is still the internet, 181 and yellow pages. Self control is hard and not part of my personality very much over the years.

I had my BP meds with a glass of water then I had some rye bread with peanut butter - one slice, and water; 2hrs later I had a banana, far too ripe and I threw out the other 2 that were already melting after only a few days! Water water water. Followed 3hrs later with some nuts. My daily quota, measured out in my little (tupperware) box. I couldnt be bothered to cook at dinner time, I was wanting to keep working. I ordered stir fry broccoli and spicy fried chicken rice. I have no will power at all, its official. : ((((

The black hole I mentioned before took over, I was even talking about it at the weekend. This black hole is like my food devil on one side of my brain and a good food angel on the other. They are not on my shoulders, I mean really inside my head, thats how I picture them. I seriously think I need a shrink. When I try to focus on not ordering or eating something, it becomes magnified in my thoughts and pushes the good food angel out of sight, out of mind, I cant see or feel her presence (yes the good one is a girl all in white!). The little bugger the food devil is male and wears red (predictable, I know but hear me out ....), and he just takes over. In fact the black out is him pulling this big huge heavy black curtain across the middle of my thoughts and shutting out the good food angel. She can only squeeze back in again when its to late - the food was ordered, the food arrived,  I ate the food (not all of it), then she showed her face. A bit bloody late madam, you were no help whatsoever! Yep, I definitely need a shrink for this one! I decided to drink lots of water and help the food though my belly as fast as possible .... I so know thats NOT going to happen.

However I have been using my new weights. Everytime I walked past them I picked them up and thought about my fabulous Cameron Diaz arms in the making. I think every morning I can wake with some weight execises for my arms. I will most likely take some time to work up to weights and squats or lunges! Will keep that little speciality for boot camp itself.

So Ive got a busy stressful week ahead and I havent helped myself with the unhealthy-ish weekend and bad start to the week. I doubt the weekly weigh-in tomorrow is going to tell me Ive lost 4kgs - Andrew where were you when I needed you (and you better reply to my email soon Mr Dietician or Im going to have to do the detox version from DHTC .....). Yep detox it is tomorrow, veg and fruit only and tons of water. I need to get back in the boat and stop floating around on the surface.

Ive only got 1 boot camp session this week, so I NEED to at least do some running in the evenings when I get home, even if it is midnight. The guy who was advertising the Weightloss Show 2 weekends ago lost 50kg and he had to fit in midnight runs to make sure he did what he needed to do. I will find his story and add the link here. I need to be that person. I keep saying these words, its action I need not words. COME ON ME!!! Where have I gone - get back to it. HUA!!!

Virtual Weightloss Tool - Have some fun!

http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/virtualweightlosstool.aspx


Upload a pic of yourself, enter how much weight you want to lose, wait for
the pic to adjust then make some additional changes to your shape and
there you have it - your goal weight photo to print and stick on your fridge
door!

5 February - Keeping it real

Saturday morning - another alarm wake up. Ufffff. This time to sell my car and go through the painful red tape process with the RTA. Just as I had moved from unconscious to conscious, the sms came through telling me the process was not going to happen today. Ufffff again. I wanted to go back to sleep but I also didnt want to waste the day lying in bed.

What to do? OK another shopping mall. Its more walking which means more moving which means more calories and fat burned. Brunch at Lime Tree cafe at Ibn Batutta was chicken skewers with a small helping of almond satay. Yummeeee. It did take me a few mins to order this protein choice over the carb rice cakes over the delicious looking pumpkin quiche with pastry. I did share some roasted veg and halloumi on the side and I 'fess up now I did have most of the potato salad. But thankfully sharing is a better way for me reduce the food intake because I could just eat Lime Tree out of business all by myself. Dont ever let me loose in that kitchen.

We walked for a few hours, via all the sports shops and enjoying the walking off of brunch. I came back with more wrist bands (for me elbows at the next BFA!!), and some 2kg hand weights for me to do the 30 day shred DVD better from home. When I got them home I did do some exercises with them, Im going to have to build up lots of stamina if I go through another session with OFC using weights as I really truly struggled to run whilst carrying the weights last week. I also like the idea of getting rid of my bingo wings and having some Madonna toned arms - OK more Cameron Diaz arms as Madonna is way to scrawny these days. I also got some "essentials" for running and boot camp, which I cant really mention in too much detail, but these are proper ones that hopefully wont fall down mid BFA next time!

No before I close for the day, I can update you on the Dr and BP meds situation. Im still on meds and on an increased dosage. Not happy but if it allows me to continue with bootcamp and running, I need to take them. I know if I stop taking them I wont be permitted to continue with boot camp. If I dont continue with boot camp, Im going to slip back into my old lifestyle and bad habits again and I will be on more than BP low dosage meds for the rest of my life. As I had a few little heart palpitations over the last week when I was at resting not exercising I had to tell the Dr. Next thing I know Im connected to an ECG machine. A stressful 10mins later Im told everything is normal. Phew. I was starting to worry and of course all Im thinking about is the fact Ive left my phone at home on this occasion, and what if something happens to me ....

Drama queen moment over, its also the end of the weekend. I have a busy week ahead including 2 days of all day conference. Which means only one thing - carb overdose in the hotel. Im planning ahead for this one. If I can avoid the carbs on these 2 days, missing boot camp for 2 days doesnt seems so bad. It also means double running and 30 day shred for Friday and Saturday. I have Friday dinner at a friends place planned, something to look forward to an save myself for! Wish me luck for the week ahead, and good luck to you all reading this if you're still sharing my boat up the creek ..............

PS I had Lime Tree carrot cake after the few hours shopping in replacement of my evening dinner. Dinner was water and a handful of nuts only!! If I can work from home tomorrow, I can fit in a lunchtime run to make up for this weakness .................................

4 February - Free-Will-eh?

It was a lovely sunny morning in Dubai; my alarm was set for 8am on a Friday. Yes you read correctly. I am very proud to say I set my alarm so I could fit in a run around my local community (same as last Friday) as I knew I as heading out for another Friday lunch. I also knew I had to keep my metabolism speeding up to ensure that whatever I choose today at lunch was going to be ravished as quickly as possible and not sit in my belly for the next 24hrs - OK, so red meat was out already!

And I ran. NONSTOP. Yes, I ran and didnt stop to rest my legs or catch my breath. I kept a steady, not too fast pace, and was determined to keep going til I reached home again. Corey had said something last night about having the strength to do a run or the plank/bridge (and Im presuming all exercise) was all in the mind. LL had suggested I use running as a de-stress, calming of my mind kind of relaxing (?!) time to gather my thoughts and focus on positive things. So I tried, I kept telling myself over and over again it was all in my mind, my legs were NOT tired or aching, I CAN do this without stopping, I WILL beat my time of last week and I MUST do my best. As I reached 6mins+ I saw another runner coming in the opposite direction, I suddenly realised I had something in common with him. I used to look at runners as if they were not of this planet and I cold no way relate to why and how they were running instead of sitting at a drunken brunch! I was now one of them, even if only in a trainee alien state. I was elated when we made eye contact and we said "morning" to each other. I smiled and forgot about the heavy legs and heavy breathing for a while. Then I realised I was on the homeward straight. I was 2 thirds of my way round. I then saw 2 people wandering around, and I didnt feel embarassed to be running past them as I had before. I was always before embarrassed to me seen attempting to run and then being seen to stop and struggle a few steps ahead. I could feel myself able to keep going past them. I came across a junction and a car was heading my way, I hesitated for less than a few seconds and he stopped and let me continue. Now I had respect to be able to stop the cars. Funny. Who am I?

I could see the last corner ahead, and I even pushed my legs to go just a little bit faster. It wasnt a sprint by any means and I picked up the pace. I had already seen on the stopwatch a few mins before I was at 16mins so I knew I could beat last weeks time. I did. NONSTOP. 17mins 42s! I stopped, got to my apartment, sat on the bed and poured with sweat. The lovely morning wind had kept me cool outside and now I stopped, I needed to perspire quietly in the safety of my own apartment. I guzzled some water, jumped in the shower, ate a banana and then I was ready. Early. Now those who know me, Im rarely on time never mind early, but this is something Ive been working to improve for about 18months now, with the positive influence of MrB.

What to do with my time? Shopping Mall here I come. I got 2 dresses another size smaller each for AED50. One was a Julian McDonald dress I had seen about 2 years ago and never dreamed of ever fitting into it. Now its hanging in my wardrobe, hopefully for my birthday weekend in May! The other is one for Bar 44 so I can be less Man in Drag and more beauty queen : ). Then onto another mall to plan more shopping for later in the weekend. lots of pre-lunch walking, feeling more positive again.

At my friends lovely 30th Birthday lunch I decided to take the brunch option - MORE cafe is on of THE best places to eat in the UAE (http://www.morecafe.biz/), and I have never tried the Friday brunch. By the time it came to order I had changed my mind for my fave spinach salad with feta cheese and roasted pumpkin. Thats more like it. And OMG I have a fave food thats one of the healthiest on the menu. Marvelousness.

The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping in the other mall. More walking, a little bit of shopping (anyone know where I can get some girlie looking roller skates from???) and then home. I was supposed to clean and iron and chill at home, but I had a better offer. Movies - The Green Hornet. Thanks MrB to my domestic rescue. Now the next challenge. I had already reduced my large to medium to small sweet caramel popcorn WITH the large sprite no ice and Malteser bags to just the small sweet caramel popcorn (over recent months). Now I had Corey and LL in my head - sugar makes you fat! Sugar is bad! I didnt have any dinner so I was weighing up all my options. Chocs - NO. Crisps - a def NO. OK water and nachos with salsa was the healthiest option at the cinema, and with jalapenos to give a good spicy kick. I was happy, I had survived a movie without the sugar! Whoop whoop : )).

Another day of survival out in the big wide world and Ive still got Saturday to enjoy! Ive used free will to run this morning, freewill to avoid the carb overdose they call the MORE cafe brunch, and Ive used freewill to choose the best (not entirely healthy) option at the cinema. Freewill and choice for healthy options is a new world to me.

3 February - BFA!!!!

Now what words come to your mind when you see the letters BFA?


My first inspirational thought is Big Fat Ass (although according to LL thats not an issue I need to worry about - its just the middle front issues).


The next thought moves me away from BFA to BFG - The Big Friendly Giant. We've all at least heard of this childs book and most likely read it at some point. I like to consider myself a bit of a BFG, though Im inclined to look more like MID - Man In Drag and less BFG when I try to be the big-friendly-glam-queen-giant when Im out and about! But enough of my Bangkok drag-queen-dress-up dreams ...


BFA. It stands for Basic Fitness Assessment (have I got that right?). And we had our first BFA tonight. We were pre-warned by Ziad yesterday, but that just brought on anxious panic attacks (ok slight exaggeration there), and we were a little apprehensive when we arrived at the park. Another new face, and some new faces. I wonder if they will come back again next week?


Corey was a little late, Im still guessing 5 mins, but thankfully we didnt inherit his late punishments. Into the park we went, and Corey explained the next hour (or less) ahead of us.


First was a timed 1 mile run - until yesterday I had no perception of what 1 mile was, Im a convert into kms but then I only have an idea of approx 3.5kms from previously attempting to run around Safa Park and not doing a good job about it. used to take me over 30 mins! And the rest. So here I was, huddled at the back of the pack, and off we went for the 4 times around the park. The first round went by in 2 mins 36s, which was not bad considering my last running effort in the park, and I was trying to pace myself. I shuffled around the 2nd time. Into the 3rd time I stopped briefly 2 times to try and catch my breath by which point I was getting annoyed at myself as I can run better than this - not great you understand, but I did it last week around where I live. The 4th time looked more like a Monty Python funny walk sketch. It was tough, my legs were heavy and I felt I had just run 8 times already! But I did it - in 11mins 42 s (We think, I didnt realise we had to remember the time, I was barely remembering to breathe by the time I finished). Thanks for the encouragement co-bootcampes, it helped a lot. Though I do still get frustrated with myself for finishing last all the time. I know I know, its not a competition, but it would be a nice change to maybe be 2nd last next time!!


Next up were the 1min assessments - how many sit ups we could do in 1 mins, how many pushups (proper ones not the girly ones), how many squats (stick my bum out and right down!!), and how long to hold the plank/bridge. We were partnered up so that the other person who could hold our ankles still (sit ups only!!) and also they counted so we could apparently concentrate on doing the task and breathing. I forgot to breathe a few times and there were at least 2 dizzy spells as a result. There are 2 co-bootcampers who I will refer to as Mr and Mrs Superfit, I had Mr Superfit as my partner. He seemed to breeze the assessments but the great thing was he helped me with mine, told me how many I had done, reminded me to breathe and tried to push me as far as I could go. I managed to remember to breathe by the time we did the squats, I felt this was my strongest challenge and one I can definitly improve on next time. Push ups, ha ha, say no more, MUCH practice required here, situps - well I know I dont have much stomach muscles and I apologise to all for the alient-type noises durung that session. The plank/bridge I could have held for longer than 52s but I managed to get my albow nerve trapped on the bumy grass. Sod it, I gave up too soon. Note to self - next BFA take HUGE wristbands to move up to elbows for plank/bridge. 


Then we were done. Wow, it took an hour, but we had completed our first BFA. I need to improve a lot but if I knock of 4mins 20s I can make Lieutenant. Not sure how long thats going to take but its a goal. One of many. However, being a Private is not an issue to me, for now ......


Thanks to Corey after the session for the chat, it helped bring me back to reality and understand I am doing OK, and Im not doing bad. I was amused that you didnt realise how much I am struggling and read my blog to get the real truth - for anyone who knows me, Corey Im not usually quiet and the type to just get on with it. Im the chatterbox distracting all from getting on with it. Even my primary school report told me that. I bet my mum still has those reports in her attic, I must remember to ask next time Im home.


Now the weekend can begin, Im feeling less black hole and can see the bight light. Nope thats just some Dubai idiot who thinks full beam is required at 9pm, amazed he didnt also have his fog lights and hazards on too! I also just realised, the weekend already  began, at 730pm when I chose to go to BFA with OFC Bootcamp, why was I waiting?







2 February - Give me Hope ... (Beware, its a long one!)

...no not Joanna, though Id love to travel there soon IF MY JOB LETS ME DO MY JOB! And for those of you who thought the song was about a lady, Im going to pass comment. Thank goodness I have a music guru for a dad, which is great because I also remembering swearing for the first time in front of him singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" with Bono in the "good lounge" with THE best sound system that I believe, is still in part, breathing! I hope I can breathe that long too. Swearing not an issue, especially today!


And breathe ......


OK Im going to admit it, Ive reached breakdown, Ive had enough of this new healthy fit life, time to stop, take a rest, take stock and recharge for the next stage. The difference Im finding between people who are fit and healthy and do fit things because its already their lifestyle and has turned into their hobby, forget that people like me who have DRAMATICALLY changed their lives in a short space of time, routines have changed, working hours (which adds even more pressure and stress) have changed, shopping lists now look like a gardeners dream, food habits are still a learning zone, fitness schedules are taking over, attending appointments for nutrition appear where work used to be, having appointments for dietician's cancelled and feeling disappointed and then working some more, but generally its just change. Ive lost my old life, a bit of the old me. Whether I realise it consciously or subconsciously, its scary and the unknown and this is perhaps the reason I am feeling so frustrated, emotional, angry, mentally tired and tearful today. Work is ridiculous too, and I need to find time to manage work stress better, but when IS that time? Ive bought Paul McKennas Stress book with DVD, Its been in my bag since Saturday, have only looked at the cover once. It needs to become my priority.


I should know about change. I deliver change management training, I understand the bereavement chart, I know where I am - fear! Fear thats this boot camp and healthy eating and everything together so fast and so soon, is too much change too soon. Im a stubborn, habitual person by nature, and change with me takes time. The quick changes I can deal with, these life changing ones are a whole new ball game. Ive lived a way of life that was familiar and less demanding on my time that I have always given to my work. Changing this work dedication is hard especially when the job was already a challenge with the 60hr+ working week, and reducing it by 15-20hrs a week then replacing with a fitness schedule and everything else that goes hand in hand with a healthy active life, this is pushing me to the emotional, teary person I am today.


I asked LL to back off a little, nothing personal to her as she has been amazing in motivating me and teaching me things I kind of knew but didnt put into practice. Next week I will miss 2 bootcamp sessions because of 2 days of work conferences, meetings and dinners - thats going to be a personal challenge and if I succeed in eating healthy for those 2 days, I will be half way home to crawling out of this black hole Im in at the moment.


I dont even have much time free at weekends, there is always something on, someone to visit, lunch/brunch or catch up, this is the only time we are all away from the work stress and distractions and Ive left my friends alone too long. Im a sociable girl, I need my friends around me. The last 4 weeks has more or less been ignored and replaced by fitness and everything healthy. Then the rest of the time is cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Every day I clean for min 1hr due to the kitties (and no, they are going nowhere....and thankfully the Al Barsha vets open til 10pm for people like me!!). Then I have tons of ironing, more cleaning as Im cooking and preparing more than before .... so Ive decided enough! I was supposed to wait until I reached a certain weight goal, however if I wait another 2 weeks I wont have my sanity. So Im sending my ironing out to be done my someone else and Im going to get that stressful looking increasing-in-size ironing pile out of my sight and back into my wardrobe. And I am looking for a new maid - one less thing to stress about, and I like a clean apartment. My apartment is my chill out zone, away from the rest of the world and it needs to be clean!


Now something more cheery - bootcamp. We had Zaid, our once a week with him now. Looking back we were all over the place, we were less military boot camp and more Carry On BootCamping (with Kenneth Williams!!!), no discipline, we all struggled. Lot of core exercises, using weights again, running, weights, core exercises, was very varied but I felt all my muscles burn. Our arms ached from Mondays session now they hurt 10 times more than the 2 days after Mondays session. My right bicep (I think) REALLY is painful and Im allergic to deep heat - time to root through the meds box for the herbal alternative but must remember to take the contact lenses out BEFORE! I went over on my left ankle and this twinged a bit when running on it but will raise it over night, doesnt feel too bad so cannot escape tomorrows BFA! Zaid was great with everyone, encouraging and motivating the 2 young kids and newbies, and even me when I was straggling. The lie on my back with weights was ok again though my chest already feels strained - as long as I keep feeling it Im doing something. Zaid/Corey, Im still rocking up ......


Now for something just down right funny that we can all relate to, especially if you are from my old lifestyle. A certain person, who we can refer to on this blog as "The Twig" - a bit like The Stig however I will need to check if the head to toe leather number also applies to The Twig - I will be confirming in the future.


Anyway, he and I are doing the same thing. (1) being bullied by LL in the most loving possible way (2) need to lose weight for health reasons (3) as well as for vanity reason (The Twig - you DID mention those drainpipe jeans, as long as they are stone washed too AND you can move enough to do some burpees hee hee!) and (3) trying to change our lives on a permanent basis. He and I know this is tough - very tough - however, Im giving full credit and copyright to The Twig for the below explanation and justification for a less healthy persons "cutting back and being on a healthy diet/fitness regime". In his own bloody funny words :


"As I’m waiting for an op on my knee I can’t really do much exercise eg burpees (not that I’d do them when, ahem, fully fit. Have you ever seen anything as ungainly?? Got my street-cred to consider you know). And though LL shouts “you can do upper body workouts” it’s not the same doing the top half without the other. It would be like Ant without Dec or even Dec without Ant.


So it is basically cutting out my minimum of 4 packs of crisps a day. I’ve tried arguing that 4 x 25g are better for you than 3 x 34g but somehow I can’t make people see the benefit eating one more packet and having the benefit of a 2g difference less intake.  Also out are pasties and/or sausage rolls, sometimes on the same plate. And my alcohol consumption has reduced a little.
So, to put this in an equation :
Chicken + Fish + salad + rice (brown) + vegetables + nuts + etc + boredom < crisps + savouries + alcohol + etc + happiness
So I have lost 9 pounds since 31st December, just on target to lose over 2 stone by mid April.....as the weeks go by and my nose receptor hairs will be on high alert at the mere whiff of chips or a warmed up pasty, but it has to be done. Now where did I store those drainpipe jeans?"
Good luck The Twig, you should be a stand up comedian! Lets plan to celebrate our success together in December when we can compare notes in person (beware there will be a LL Boot camp to complete but by then we will breeze it!). We can do this, there will be bad days and good days and just reading your words again has brought me back up todays black hole. Now start your own blog so I can read and be amused : ). 

1 February - New month, new me

I remember someone telling me before that when you wake on the first day of the new month, Im supposed to say white rabbit 3 times. I think they told me that on April 1st. I didnt mention any rabbits today ......Ive not gone barking yet!

My arms hurt from yesterdays bootcamp. In between all that running we were using the weights, I had 2.5kgs. We used them in every way possible, the most bearable was the one where I was lying on my back - an old regular haunt of mine ....! The biceps are definitely feeling the benefit today, feeling more like Popeye every day! I do love spinach - raw only, otherwise it just turns into green mush that resembles seaweed and sticks in between every tooth. Im still hoping tomorrows session with Zaid is boxing, I liked that! (Corey/Zaid, thats a HUGE hint, I LIKE THE BOXING! Dont forget now!)

After trying my favourite dress on late last night, I was feeling positive. I wanted something warm to wear at work today. The ac remains on Scottish summer temps (just above freezing) but the weather forecast was for some nasty weather, so that ruled out opening the window and letting some heat and fresh air in. I went to the long sleeved tops section and pulled out my dusty pink number. I even choose my matching scarf to give with it. I put it on and its loose, very loose. This was one of the tops I was wearing in December under my jumpers as they were too tight to wear on their own. Again, its the boot camp thats making this all happen.

I was also emailing a co-bootcamper today and she was saying she has a pair of jeans as her goal. 3 weeks ago she couldnt pull them up. Now she can. Next step is zip them up. Keep going, you are doing fabulous (you know who you are ; )!). Bootcamp wouldnt be the same without you!

Ive also been shopping at long last. I do love Union Coop. A fridge full of veg and some fruit later, some small boxes to portion my nuts and cherries/grapes, Im ready for the week ahead. I just need some kitchen weighing scales in advance of my meeting with Dietician Andrew. Got some nice new smellies for the apartment too, a girl needs some smellies.

Now Andrew. He cancelled this evenings week 1 of his 8 week programme. I was devastated as Ive been waiting since Saturday for this evening, to get into my week of losing 4kgs. As soon as they reconfirm Im there as long as its not on a boot camp evening!

AND I did my 3 runs around Mirdif Park, swallowing the entire sand dunes at the same time, and keeping any remaining bits for my eyes and nose. Disgusting weather. I was slower than last week so Im not putting my times up until Ive lowered the times. 

Now time for some catch up TV. Holby City and Banged Up Abroad are the current faves but Ive yet to finish series 3 of Ashes to Ashes, I dont want it to end! Me, cup of early grey, kitties, blanket and TV. Blissssssssssssss