So I missed Mondays boot camp as I was still not well after the weekends food poisoning which may now have been a bug - too many other people I know have suffered the same.
Tuesday was International Women's Day - I decided to look after and liberate myself, take a risk, be strong and change my life for the better. At my 6 month/appraisal meeting I advised my boss's I was not happy and not the best fit for the job, and suggested a 3 - 6 month transition period. I need to get back my life, this current company is dysfunctional, disorganised and doesnt need someone of my level. Im a glorified and overpaid administrator, and I want to be able to get up in the morning and look forward to my day ahead. Not wake up every day, thinking about every excuse I can to not go! Im sure this will have a major impact on my soaring blood pressure, in a positive way.
My Tuesday session with Andrew showed a 0.4kg loss, not bad considering I hadnt followed the diet plan, again. This week we learnt more about how to include carbs in your diet plan to ensure optimum weight loss. Bizarrely this goes against everything Ive learnt about monitoring calories or fat content, but it seems to be the way thats works best, for the long term and for health. I still have to make sure I write my own diet plan for the week ahead, though I have chosen to do this for next week, as I am going to try and follow week 2 again. My biggest challenge remains time. Time to plan, time to get organised, time to get shopping and chopping. Just time. I dont seem to have any.
The week didnt improve, in fact it got worse. Mentally I am not in the right place, my mind has spiraled downwards and I dont feel motivated or remotely interested in what I need to do today, tomorrow or the next day. Instead I feel a cloud of doom and gloom hanging around me and I cant seem to shift it. I didn't go to boot camp on Wednesday or Thursday, I know it wold have ended in tears. Ive spent most of the week in tears, tears in my meeting with my boss's, tears on my own in the car when I start thinking about certain things going on, tears at the Drs, tears tear tears. They're doing my head in now!
LL backed off, though I know she was itching to try and motivate me and get me back on track, but her motivation wouldnt have worked this week, it would have just wound me up (sorry LL, I love you lots but this was not a week where anything was going to work). I need to do this myself, I need to get back on (again) out of my own free will and choice. Im trying to remain "good" but Im now realising Im not eating or drinking enough. Ive gone the opposite way. And I know I have to eat to lose weight (the right food) and I also know I need water just to survive and ensure everything works. The problem I have had all my life is that I know WHAT to do and WHY, I just choose not to. Why? If I had the answer to that question, this would all be so much easier.
I was disappointed to find that the "Friends with Food" event today was cancelled due to lack of response but Ive now been offered 2 x 2hr sessions for the same price (about 50% off her usual charges). And the first thing I thought of was "And how the hell am I going to fit that it into my week. Im only free on Sunday eve after work or weekends .....". Negativity crept in before I even had a chance to cling to some positivity. Now I think, "Its only 2 sessions I can fit this in".
I wont go into details of my dull week, but lets just say it was shit! My saving grace was Patsy R (you finally get a mention xx), and his new Patsy E and the ever fabulous Patsy C. Thank you for a gorgeous evening, and for the fab healthy and carb free (I only had a few rice crackers!) dinner and great company. You were such a better choice to boot camp though Im going to have to get back to that again next week, no excuses. Thanks again, love you lots. And I want to borrow Pam Ann hee hee xx.
I am annoyed with my Dr - apparently the meds is NOT a temporary arrangement, though she misled me at the beginning saying it was for one month, then it got extended and increased to 2 months, now 3. I had to have yet more blood tests as my results last time were apparently NOT normal they were borderline. IM feeling I need a new Dr and she has let me down in many ways. When I cried with anger and frustration at being on meds for high BP at my age, she didnt get it. She told me she had a male client who had to inject insulin for his diabetes AND had to take 3 tablets for his high BP and I am lucky. My reply was along the lines of "I dont care about anyone else"! Regardless, I remain on BP tablets and had to get my prescription. Everything is based around the main monthly checkups (which I will now take to my old Dr) and min 3 times check ups of my blood pressure. I have my own machine and I may remain with this as my measurement as I am honestly sick and tired of going so much to that clinic. Its not my choice to go there.
When I went to collect my meds from the usual pharmacy I was advised that they dont take my medical insurance any more, due to the fact they have admin and management issues or something. I lost it with the poor guy serving me. he couldnt give the meds to me. I stormed out and then stormed back in again - no I wasnt taking that answer, I was going to get my meds. After arguing with him (loud voice, oops) and advising him not only was I HR who knows the medical insurance scheme very well, I also worked for an insurance company etc etc etc. Eventually he gave in and I have his manages name and number!!! Time to change pharmacy also, so Im definitely heading back to Jumeirah, the dark side is causing my BP to increase further just though incompetence. However, Im glad I stood my ground and demanded the meds, I wasnt in any fit state to drive around the city's pharmacies seeking the meds ....
Im just glad its the weekend. Ive slept looong today and got up when I felt my body was ready. Yes it may have been a waste of a day, yes I could have done something with my day, but I dont care today. Today is my "get myself together" day. Going to have a nice salad at Mirdif City Centre shortly, then plan my food shopping. I will go to the Organic Shop in Dubai Mall before meeting LL for a movie later. Time for something relaxing and hopefully make me laugh. Tomorrow I plan a visit to Fitness First to get me back on track and re-focused. Some swimming and sunbathing afterwards too.
Im good at putting a face on for the world, I do this all the time. This week I lost that face and hid from as many people as possible. I go through the week, I survived it and next week is another week. I havent gone back to old habits, I havent ordered my usual take away comfort food. Ive just not eaten more than a few nibbles and few sips of water apart from dinner last night with the gorgeous Patsy R. Why? Again I dont know, but its time to try and fix it.
Wishing everyone a great weekend, and a positive week ahead. For me, things can only get better, Im not going to let them get any worse thats for sure. To my fellow boot campers, see you next week! LL thansk for tolerating me, again. xx
Tuesday was International Women's Day - I decided to look after and liberate myself, take a risk, be strong and change my life for the better. At my 6 month/appraisal meeting I advised my boss's I was not happy and not the best fit for the job, and suggested a 3 - 6 month transition period. I need to get back my life, this current company is dysfunctional, disorganised and doesnt need someone of my level. Im a glorified and overpaid administrator, and I want to be able to get up in the morning and look forward to my day ahead. Not wake up every day, thinking about every excuse I can to not go! Im sure this will have a major impact on my soaring blood pressure, in a positive way.
My Tuesday session with Andrew showed a 0.4kg loss, not bad considering I hadnt followed the diet plan, again. This week we learnt more about how to include carbs in your diet plan to ensure optimum weight loss. Bizarrely this goes against everything Ive learnt about monitoring calories or fat content, but it seems to be the way thats works best, for the long term and for health. I still have to make sure I write my own diet plan for the week ahead, though I have chosen to do this for next week, as I am going to try and follow week 2 again. My biggest challenge remains time. Time to plan, time to get organised, time to get shopping and chopping. Just time. I dont seem to have any.
The week didnt improve, in fact it got worse. Mentally I am not in the right place, my mind has spiraled downwards and I dont feel motivated or remotely interested in what I need to do today, tomorrow or the next day. Instead I feel a cloud of doom and gloom hanging around me and I cant seem to shift it. I didn't go to boot camp on Wednesday or Thursday, I know it wold have ended in tears. Ive spent most of the week in tears, tears in my meeting with my boss's, tears on my own in the car when I start thinking about certain things going on, tears at the Drs, tears tear tears. They're doing my head in now!
LL backed off, though I know she was itching to try and motivate me and get me back on track, but her motivation wouldnt have worked this week, it would have just wound me up (sorry LL, I love you lots but this was not a week where anything was going to work). I need to do this myself, I need to get back on (again) out of my own free will and choice. Im trying to remain "good" but Im now realising Im not eating or drinking enough. Ive gone the opposite way. And I know I have to eat to lose weight (the right food) and I also know I need water just to survive and ensure everything works. The problem I have had all my life is that I know WHAT to do and WHY, I just choose not to. Why? If I had the answer to that question, this would all be so much easier.
I was disappointed to find that the "Friends with Food" event today was cancelled due to lack of response but Ive now been offered 2 x 2hr sessions for the same price (about 50% off her usual charges). And the first thing I thought of was "And how the hell am I going to fit that it into my week. Im only free on Sunday eve after work or weekends .....". Negativity crept in before I even had a chance to cling to some positivity. Now I think, "Its only 2 sessions I can fit this in".
I wont go into details of my dull week, but lets just say it was shit! My saving grace was Patsy R (you finally get a mention xx), and his new Patsy E and the ever fabulous Patsy C. Thank you for a gorgeous evening, and for the fab healthy and carb free (I only had a few rice crackers!) dinner and great company. You were such a better choice to boot camp though Im going to have to get back to that again next week, no excuses. Thanks again, love you lots. And I want to borrow Pam Ann hee hee xx.
I am annoyed with my Dr - apparently the meds is NOT a temporary arrangement, though she misled me at the beginning saying it was for one month, then it got extended and increased to 2 months, now 3. I had to have yet more blood tests as my results last time were apparently NOT normal they were borderline. IM feeling I need a new Dr and she has let me down in many ways. When I cried with anger and frustration at being on meds for high BP at my age, she didnt get it. She told me she had a male client who had to inject insulin for his diabetes AND had to take 3 tablets for his high BP and I am lucky. My reply was along the lines of "I dont care about anyone else"! Regardless, I remain on BP tablets and had to get my prescription. Everything is based around the main monthly checkups (which I will now take to my old Dr) and min 3 times check ups of my blood pressure. I have my own machine and I may remain with this as my measurement as I am honestly sick and tired of going so much to that clinic. Its not my choice to go there.
When I went to collect my meds from the usual pharmacy I was advised that they dont take my medical insurance any more, due to the fact they have admin and management issues or something. I lost it with the poor guy serving me. he couldnt give the meds to me. I stormed out and then stormed back in again - no I wasnt taking that answer, I was going to get my meds. After arguing with him (loud voice, oops) and advising him not only was I HR who knows the medical insurance scheme very well, I also worked for an insurance company etc etc etc. Eventually he gave in and I have his manages name and number!!! Time to change pharmacy also, so Im definitely heading back to Jumeirah, the dark side is causing my BP to increase further just though incompetence. However, Im glad I stood my ground and demanded the meds, I wasnt in any fit state to drive around the city's pharmacies seeking the meds ....
Im just glad its the weekend. Ive slept looong today and got up when I felt my body was ready. Yes it may have been a waste of a day, yes I could have done something with my day, but I dont care today. Today is my "get myself together" day. Going to have a nice salad at Mirdif City Centre shortly, then plan my food shopping. I will go to the Organic Shop in Dubai Mall before meeting LL for a movie later. Time for something relaxing and hopefully make me laugh. Tomorrow I plan a visit to Fitness First to get me back on track and re-focused. Some swimming and sunbathing afterwards too.
Im good at putting a face on for the world, I do this all the time. This week I lost that face and hid from as many people as possible. I go through the week, I survived it and next week is another week. I havent gone back to old habits, I havent ordered my usual take away comfort food. Ive just not eaten more than a few nibbles and few sips of water apart from dinner last night with the gorgeous Patsy R. Why? Again I dont know, but its time to try and fix it.
Wishing everyone a great weekend, and a positive week ahead. For me, things can only get better, Im not going to let them get any worse thats for sure. To my fellow boot campers, see you next week! LL thansk for tolerating me, again. xx
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