...no not Joanna, though Id love to travel there soon IF MY JOB LETS ME DO MY JOB! And for those of you who thought the song was about a lady, Im going to pass comment. Thank goodness I have a music guru for a dad, which is great because I also remembering swearing for the first time in front of him singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday" with Bono in the "good lounge" with THE best sound system that I believe, is still in part, breathing! I hope I can breathe that long too. Swearing not an issue, especially today!
And breathe ......
OK Im going to admit it, Ive reached breakdown, Ive had enough of this new healthy fit life, time to stop, take a rest, take stock and recharge for the next stage. The difference Im finding between people who are fit and healthy and do fit things because its already their lifestyle and has turned into their hobby, forget that people like me who have DRAMATICALLY changed their lives in a short space of time, routines have changed, working hours (which adds even more pressure and stress) have changed, shopping lists now look like a gardeners dream, food habits are still a learning zone, fitness schedules are taking over, attending appointments for nutrition appear where work used to be, having appointments for dietician's cancelled and feeling disappointed and then working some more, but generally its just change. Ive lost my old life, a bit of the old me. Whether I realise it consciously or subconsciously, its scary and the unknown and this is perhaps the reason I am feeling so frustrated, emotional, angry, mentally tired and tearful today. Work is ridiculous too, and I need to find time to manage work stress better, but when IS that time? Ive bought Paul McKennas Stress book with DVD, Its been in my bag since Saturday, have only looked at the cover once. It needs to become my priority.
I should know about change. I deliver change management training, I understand the bereavement chart, I know where I am - fear! Fear thats this boot camp and healthy eating and everything together so fast and so soon, is too much change too soon. Im a stubborn, habitual person by nature, and change with me takes time. The quick changes I can deal with, these life changing ones are a whole new ball game. Ive lived a way of life that was familiar and less demanding on my time that I have always given to my work. Changing this work dedication is hard especially when the job was already a challenge with the 60hr+ working week, and reducing it by 15-20hrs a week then replacing with a fitness schedule and everything else that goes hand in hand with a healthy active life, this is pushing me to the emotional, teary person I am today.
I asked LL to back off a little, nothing personal to her as she has been amazing in motivating me and teaching me things I kind of knew but didnt put into practice. Next week I will miss 2 bootcamp sessions because of 2 days of work conferences, meetings and dinners - thats going to be a personal challenge and if I succeed in eating healthy for those 2 days, I will be half way home to crawling out of this black hole Im in at the moment.
I dont even have much time free at weekends, there is always something on, someone to visit, lunch/brunch or catch up, this is the only time we are all away from the work stress and distractions and Ive left my friends alone too long. Im a sociable girl, I need my friends around me. The last 4 weeks has more or less been ignored and replaced by fitness and everything healthy. Then the rest of the time is cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Every day I clean for min 1hr due to the kitties (and no, they are going nowhere....and thankfully the Al Barsha vets open til 10pm for people like me!!). Then I have tons of ironing, more cleaning as Im cooking and preparing more than before .... so Ive decided enough! I was supposed to wait until I reached a certain weight goal, however if I wait another 2 weeks I wont have my sanity. So Im sending my ironing out to be done my someone else and Im going to get that stressful looking increasing-in-size ironing pile out of my sight and back into my wardrobe. And I am looking for a new maid - one less thing to stress about, and I like a clean apartment. My apartment is my chill out zone, away from the rest of the world and it needs to be clean!
Now something more cheery - bootcamp. We had Zaid, our once a week with him now. Looking back we were all over the place, we were less military boot camp and more Carry On BootCamping (with Kenneth Williams!!!), no discipline, we all struggled. Lot of core exercises, using weights again, running, weights, core exercises, was very varied but I felt all my muscles burn. Our arms ached from Mondays session now they hurt 10 times more than the 2 days after Mondays session. My right bicep (I think) REALLY is painful and Im allergic to deep heat - time to root through the meds box for the herbal alternative but must remember to take the contact lenses out BEFORE! I went over on my left ankle and this twinged a bit when running on it but will raise it over night, doesnt feel too bad so cannot escape tomorrows BFA! Zaid was great with everyone, encouraging and motivating the 2 young kids and newbies, and even me when I was straggling. The lie on my back with weights was ok again though my chest already feels strained - as long as I keep feeling it Im doing something. Zaid/Corey, Im still rocking up ......
Now for something just down right funny that we can all relate to, especially if you are from my old lifestyle. A certain person, who we can refer to on this blog as "The Twig" - a bit like The Stig however I will need to check if the head to toe leather number also applies to The Twig - I will be confirming in the future.
Anyway, he and I are doing the same thing. (1) being bullied by LL in the most loving possible way (2) need to lose weight for health reasons (3) as well as for vanity reason (The Twig - you DID mention those drainpipe jeans, as long as they are stone washed too AND you can move enough to do some burpees hee hee!) and (3) trying to change our lives on a permanent basis. He and I know this is tough - very tough - however, Im giving full credit and copyright to The Twig for the below explanation and justification for a less healthy persons "cutting back and being on a healthy diet/fitness regime". In his own bloody funny words :
"As I’m waiting for an op on my knee I can’t really do much exercise eg burpees (not that I’d do them when, ahem, fully fit. Have you ever seen anything as ungainly?? Got my street-cred to consider you know). And though LL shouts “you can do upper body workouts” it’s not the same doing the top half without the other. It would be like Ant without Dec or even Dec without Ant.
And breathe ......
OK Im going to admit it, Ive reached breakdown, Ive had enough of this new healthy fit life, time to stop, take a rest, take stock and recharge for the next stage. The difference Im finding between people who are fit and healthy and do fit things because its already their lifestyle and has turned into their hobby, forget that people like me who have DRAMATICALLY changed their lives in a short space of time, routines have changed, working hours (which adds even more pressure and stress) have changed, shopping lists now look like a gardeners dream, food habits are still a learning zone, fitness schedules are taking over, attending appointments for nutrition appear where work used to be, having appointments for dietician's cancelled and feeling disappointed and then working some more, but generally its just change. Ive lost my old life, a bit of the old me. Whether I realise it consciously or subconsciously, its scary and the unknown and this is perhaps the reason I am feeling so frustrated, emotional, angry, mentally tired and tearful today. Work is ridiculous too, and I need to find time to manage work stress better, but when IS that time? Ive bought Paul McKennas Stress book with DVD, Its been in my bag since Saturday, have only looked at the cover once. It needs to become my priority.
I should know about change. I deliver change management training, I understand the bereavement chart, I know where I am - fear! Fear thats this boot camp and healthy eating and everything together so fast and so soon, is too much change too soon. Im a stubborn, habitual person by nature, and change with me takes time. The quick changes I can deal with, these life changing ones are a whole new ball game. Ive lived a way of life that was familiar and less demanding on my time that I have always given to my work. Changing this work dedication is hard especially when the job was already a challenge with the 60hr+ working week, and reducing it by 15-20hrs a week then replacing with a fitness schedule and everything else that goes hand in hand with a healthy active life, this is pushing me to the emotional, teary person I am today.
I asked LL to back off a little, nothing personal to her as she has been amazing in motivating me and teaching me things I kind of knew but didnt put into practice. Next week I will miss 2 bootcamp sessions because of 2 days of work conferences, meetings and dinners - thats going to be a personal challenge and if I succeed in eating healthy for those 2 days, I will be half way home to crawling out of this black hole Im in at the moment.
I dont even have much time free at weekends, there is always something on, someone to visit, lunch/brunch or catch up, this is the only time we are all away from the work stress and distractions and Ive left my friends alone too long. Im a sociable girl, I need my friends around me. The last 4 weeks has more or less been ignored and replaced by fitness and everything healthy. Then the rest of the time is cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Every day I clean for min 1hr due to the kitties (and no, they are going nowhere....and thankfully the Al Barsha vets open til 10pm for people like me!!). Then I have tons of ironing, more cleaning as Im cooking and preparing more than before .... so Ive decided enough! I was supposed to wait until I reached a certain weight goal, however if I wait another 2 weeks I wont have my sanity. So Im sending my ironing out to be done my someone else and Im going to get that stressful looking increasing-in-size ironing pile out of my sight and back into my wardrobe. And I am looking for a new maid - one less thing to stress about, and I like a clean apartment. My apartment is my chill out zone, away from the rest of the world and it needs to be clean!
Now something more cheery - bootcamp. We had Zaid, our once a week with him now. Looking back we were all over the place, we were less military boot camp and more Carry On BootCamping (with Kenneth Williams!!!), no discipline, we all struggled. Lot of core exercises, using weights again, running, weights, core exercises, was very varied but I felt all my muscles burn. Our arms ached from Mondays session now they hurt 10 times more than the 2 days after Mondays session. My right bicep (I think) REALLY is painful and Im allergic to deep heat - time to root through the meds box for the herbal alternative but must remember to take the contact lenses out BEFORE! I went over on my left ankle and this twinged a bit when running on it but will raise it over night, doesnt feel too bad so cannot escape tomorrows BFA! Zaid was great with everyone, encouraging and motivating the 2 young kids and newbies, and even me when I was straggling. The lie on my back with weights was ok again though my chest already feels strained - as long as I keep feeling it Im doing something. Zaid/Corey, Im still rocking up ......
Now for something just down right funny that we can all relate to, especially if you are from my old lifestyle. A certain person, who we can refer to on this blog as "The Twig" - a bit like The Stig however I will need to check if the head to toe leather number also applies to The Twig - I will be confirming in the future.
Anyway, he and I are doing the same thing. (1) being bullied by LL in the most loving possible way (2) need to lose weight for health reasons (3) as well as for vanity reason (The Twig - you DID mention those drainpipe jeans, as long as they are stone washed too AND you can move enough to do some burpees hee hee!) and (3) trying to change our lives on a permanent basis. He and I know this is tough - very tough - however, Im giving full credit and copyright to The Twig for the below explanation and justification for a less healthy persons "cutting back and being on a healthy diet/fitness regime". In his own bloody funny words :
"As I’m waiting for an op on my knee I can’t really do much exercise eg burpees (not that I’d do them when, ahem, fully fit. Have you ever seen anything as ungainly?? Got my street-cred to consider you know). And though LL shouts “you can do upper body workouts” it’s not the same doing the top half without the other. It would be like Ant without Dec or even Dec without Ant.
So it is basically cutting out my minimum of 4 packs of crisps a day. I’ve tried arguing that 4 x 25g are better for you than 3 x 34g but somehow I can’t make people see the benefit eating one more packet and having the benefit of a 2g difference less intake. Also out are pasties and/or sausage rolls, sometimes on the same plate. And my alcohol consumption has reduced a little.
So, to put this in an equation :
Chicken + Fish + salad + rice (brown) + vegetables + nuts + etc + boredom < crisps + savouries + alcohol + etc + happiness
So I have lost 9 pounds since 31st December, just on target to lose over 2 stone by mid April.....as the weeks go by and my nose receptor hairs will be on high alert at the mere whiff of chips or a warmed up pasty, but it has to be done. Now where did I store those drainpipe jeans?"
Good luck The Twig, you should be a stand up comedian! Lets plan to celebrate our success together in December when we can compare notes in person (beware there will be a LL Boot camp to complete but by then we will breeze it!). We can do this, there will be bad days and good days and just reading your words again has brought me back up todays black hole. Now start your own blog so I can read and be amused : ).
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