14 July - My lips are sealed

End of the week, the weekend is pending. I survived my 1st day without my support/handover and looking forward to the next weeks and months ahead.

But first, there was my special appointment, my last piece of the jigsaw. An now its done, there isn't a lot I want to say, only I recommend anyone else who struggles with the their weight, dysfunctional relationship or thoughts with food, emotional reliance on food, control issues over food, any eating disorders and just about anything negative or abnormal (use your own definitions), to see a counsellor or psychologist, someone who can assess, advise and change your behaviours.

As soon as I started to talk and explain why I was there, the tears flowed and didnt stop much for 2hrs. Except when we were talking about cats! I have some homework, and Ive never been this honest with anyone in my life. More important, I have never been as honest with myself than I was for those 2 hours. 2hours that sped past like 30 minutes. There is no magic wand, no special potion, no clever formula as I, like many people, am a complicated and unique creature. It took me 6 months to find this person, a lot of research and reading but it was worth it.

I truly believe now that there is a reason why it took so long to get the final jigsaw. I have more knowledge about nutrition for a permanent change to my food for my future lifestyle. I have introduced exercise as something that can be enjoyable and can be fitted into my lifestyle and a place where I can meet some great new people who can support and help way beyond the actual health and fitness. Now this is the part then enables me and allows me to make sense of it all and just do it. This is still the biggest aspect holding me back from being successful at being me, at losing the fat (not chewing it!!), getting fit, prolonging my life, lower my BP, reducing the risk of cancers, osteo related illnesses and any other illness or disability that has been hanging over my head for far too long.

Its not simple, its not easy and its not an overnight solution. I know I wont be adding too many details about my sessions on here, or chatting too much to my friends (those reading here or not), as somethings are just too personal, even for the chatterbox.

I look forward to the next chapter and the eventual glueing of my jigsaw piece. One day I may write about it all so I can help others. Let the lights be switched on, superbowl styleee!