25 June - Well Done LL

LL took part in the Shape/OFC Challenge today at the Westin Hotel. 2mins of squats, proper squats. 2mins is a long time ..... well done LL, you did it, inspiring us all. Especially the ones like me stood in the sidelines.

A blast from the past, and we bumped into our original personal trainer from a few years ago. We gave him a hard time, and he really tried to get us to progress and get better but all we did was skive off and avoid the exercises. Though we did get better at the suicide runs, Im sure we did. He still inspires us now, though remembered by the dreaded beep test (we never did that properly either), but one day I will revisit that "mountain" in Safa Park, and run around it and see how Ive improved again. But I need to get back into the fitness more than once a week with Zaid, and increase the number of times I go walking around home. Though I think I need to go walking alone as I want to pick up the speed and break it up with some light running in between. Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed the walk last week, but it was too slow a pace for me. Will see how it goes tomorrow, but may leave the girls to that while I go back to my circuit around home and time myself walking and building up to running again.

Ive bought a MORE cafe spinach salad for lunch tomorrow, looking forward to that. After work its a walk with the neighbours. Then its salad chopping time and possibly some shopping for some quality chicken and beef for the last 4 days of lunches at the "zoo". Then Im free for 3 days (going to make the most of the days off, and do something new every day), and do some exercise each day, and sleep lots. This time next week, its the whole new me, a whole new era begins and boy its going to be a good one. Here I come! And this time next year I will be participating in the Shape/OFC Challenge however it wont be in the burpees challenge ...... will leave to those who think its fun and like it. Nutters the lot of them!

24 June - Apres Brunch

Ok technically its 25 June, but Ive missed the last 6hrs due to the apres lunch snooze. What a great brunch and fabulous people to celebrate their wedding with.

Impersonally still celebrating right now, because for the first time I did not overeat at a brunch! I had some prawns and mango salad (small portion), followed by another small portion of steak and Guinness pie, and some veggies from the salad buffet. And that was it food wise. In fact, I think thats why the alcohol I consumed did not get soaked up, and I ended up slurring directions home to the taxi driver. Thankfully, I made it to my apartment, immediately fell asleep, and woke up to realise I had in fact locked the front door .... and surrounded by all 4 kitties who thought their birthdays had come all at one, as they were on mummy's bed!

Ive just eaten some toast and feta cheese (the proper stuff) and I'm already on the electrolyte drink, thats going to help me tomorrow morning when I wake up. And I have a walk in the 40c+ heat, to my friends car, to drive to the airport to collect them ....

Im so proud of myself that I didn't obsess about over eating at brunch or feeling I was "depriving" myself by not, however it does have its drawbacks on the levels of control after the bubbles/beer! Oh and I did have some chocolate wedding cake too!

What a great weekend so far and Ive got one more day yet to enjoy. Happy weekending everyone : )

23 June - DepoProvera is the devils sister

Now, Im not one for getting on my high horse (ok maybe sometimes .... but usually connected to food, drink, family or friends!), and Im not one for letting other people get on their soap box either, but I gave in to LL when she told me a few times since January that someone she knew had been on the same injections as me, found out HOW bad they were for her from a medical professional, came off and lost lots of weight naturally and got her sanity back. THAT sounded appealing.

Depo Provera is a hormone injection (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depo-Provera), which I have been taking on and off (more on) for the last 9 years. It served its purpose, I liked it (still do), Im not into "womens" things, so would have preferred to be a boy on that count any day! Anyway, I always knew it had many side effects but the positives always outweighed the negatives. In the last few weeks, I met LL's friend and she told me how she had been told all the side effects and mostly relating to (1) weight gain, (2) difficulty in losing weight, (3) overly emotional/tearful (4) feeling like insanity is taking over, (5) losing the plot and not feeling normal. The damage this injection causes is sort of known but is mostly unknown, or still being debated. I googled and read, read, read but I gave up on this, as I thought the best conclusion is the results of not being on these injections, as told by someone who had come off them.

I went to meet this lady, LLs friend, and she told me since stopping the injections last year has (1) lost weight without dieting or exercising, (2) has gained control back over her emotions and is less tearful, (3) feels sane again, (4) has been reminded what feeling "normal" was, is, again. That was enough proof for me. At the time of this conversation I was due the next injection the following week. I had already 'sort of" decided not to have it, so deciding definitely not to carry on with the injections was easy.

Looking back, I feel not having the injections has helped me maintain the same weight for one month, which included an indulgent 1 weeks holiday in Greece, and not sticking to my diet plan. I even think that it has helped me last week lose that next 2.1kgs. And as long as I think this positive way, the weight loss will keep going. Even better, within 12 months or so, I would have rid my body of all the toxins and I will be 100% myself and 100% in control over my sanity, weight maintenance and emotions again.

In the meantime, I work on getting back to "normal" though I cant remember what normal feels like to be honest. Its the same as the right numb toes and foot, I cant remember what it feels like to NOT have numb toes and foot, Ive accepted the current situation as normal. But I know its not. I know I might have carried this weight around for a lifetime, but it doesnt mean its normal. A bad habit can be broken and replaced with a good habit. And there are some bad habits I want to kick for good.

I read something inspirational today and I have written these top 10 hints in my order of importance on A3 for my bedroom door, so I read it every day and I choose at least 3 of the tips to follow each day. They all make sense and I hope some of you may also find them inspiring in your quest to improve your day by day lives - http://www.ivillage.com/stay-well-secret-they-snag-quality-sleep/4-b-356253?nlcid=td|06-23-2011|#356252. Soon all 10 of these tips will become my new good habits.

Now, time for the weekend : )

22 June - Walk this way

So, I decided to force myself to keep moving, even if it wasnt hard core like bootcamp, that can wait til August. In the meantime, I have PT sessions with OFC Zaid, option to join Zumba (MissS, I WILL soon.....), and then there was the easy option of creating something on my doorstep. And thats exactly what I did.

I sent a message out to everyone who lives in my community, and 4 ladies replied. Today 3 of them joined me for a walk at 630pm, it was the perfect time for us all. I admit I DID drive my car to the meeting point, but only because I had 2 black bin liners full of big and old clothes to put in the clothes recycling bin. I have been stepping around those bags for weeks, maybe it was a subconscious way of holding onto the old me and the comfort of knowing those bigger clothes were there, in case I needed them. Now, there is no going back, they are gone. In the last 2 days I have worn 2 items that are seriously far too big for me, so I will start another clear our (someting I talked about last weekend and didnt do...). Time to move on properly, not hang to the past, no hoarding and keep having those therapeutic clear outs. I also dont have any more wardrobe space!

And back to the walking. I met 3 lovely ladies, all from different countries, 2 with children and one trying. me being the single one balanced out the group even further! We chatted, got to know each other, we didnt walk too fast, more of a stroll but most importantly, we were moving. And move we did for 1hr 15mins. We have also agreed to meet up again on Sunday early evening again, this time we may have our 5th member.

At one point, the Mirdif Runners ran past us, 3 men up front, 2 ladies further back. The 2 ladies smiled back at us, we all said together that we would be there one day... something to aim for. We walked my old running route, it looked different at a walking pace and I had a good old nosey. Very excited to see someone from SkyDive Dubai still lives around the corner, nice to be reminded of my new obsession, and something to remind me to be 90kgs the next time I jump out of a plane.

Yesterday at the weigh-in, I realised that I had set my weight goals according to my scheduled sky dives - (1) 100kg for my 1st in Dubai - done, (2) min 95kgs for Mauritius mid August but hoping to be closer to 90kg, (3) 85kgs for Sydney at New Year and (4) 80kgs for Thailand next May. it doesnt get any simpler than that. In the meantime, I just watch sky diving videos in the evenings to remind me of that 1t jump....sigh!

Tomorrow is Thursday, last day before the weekend. Friday is brunch day so there will be excess. Which means I need to keep moving and walk towards working off the bubbles and yummy food. Saturday I will watch the fit ones compete in the Shape Challenge. Go LL, I can feel your thighs hurting already!!! Good luck to all the OFC Crew, HUA!!

21 June - Bitter Sweet Beginning

Ok, it was a 2.1kg weight loss over the last 2 weeks. Whoop, I was pleased, but wasnt over the moon. Not over the moon as much as I should have been, as I know now what I COULD have lost if Id stuck to my eating plans. I have the next 2 weeks to correct this.

On the other hand, I stupidly hurt my right arm during my training session with Zaid on Sunday, and by the limited movement I now have with the associated pain, I know it was when I was struggling with the weights when straightening above my head. I was struggling and I now recall throwing my arms carelessly above me as I tried to completed that set. I think I know how NOT to do that again next time.

I have wondered if there are too many messages and hints that I should not be getting fit, and not be getting healthy and staying as I am, as I seem to be suffering more since I started this journey at the beginning of the year. But then I try and remind myself that there will always be challenges, no journey is without diversions or breakdowns, or calling out the recovery man (where is mine?), the original "no pain no gain", it will be worth it in the end, and wouldnt be as worthwhile if it was easy. I think I need to have that last sentence printed on paper and stuck up all around my apartment, so I dont forget.

However, I need to keep losing that kind of weight every 2 weeks, however our next meeting is in 3 weeks, which means the weight loss HAS to be 3kgs .............

Early rise tomorrow, back to more dry needling in my pirisomething muscle in my right butt cheek and some physio moves on my right leg. I might ask for some sneaky moves for my right arm, same side of the body after all. Night x